Episode Report Card Miss Alli: A | 543 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Peru-ff beyond a reasonable doubt
By Miss Alli | Season 7 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2005.02.29
Uchenna and Joyce. In probably the weirdest team intro ever, we see them jogging as they voice over that they've had two failed attempts at IVF in order to have a baby, and they've "been laid off from several major corporations," so they're...like, Team Dickens? Or something. And then he spanks her. No, seriously. I'm not sure I ever wanted anyone's fertility problems to be their "hook" on a reality show, but...here we are, nonetheless. And then she makes the comment that if they win the money, they can try on the baby again. Which...wow. Just, wow. I'm going to try to never think about this again, because it's creepy and sad, and I don't want to root against anyone having a baby, but I don't want to root for anyone because they want one, either. Weird.
Speaking of bios high in potential squick factor, here come Ron and Kelly. Ron was a helicopter pilot for the Army in Iraq, and he was shot down and spent some time as a POW, and Kelly was a pageant winner, so they're matched American icons in this...incredibly depressing way. And they're in love. So, okay.
Ray and Deana. They carry the dreaded label "Dating On and Off." That's never good. She explains that they're both "competitive" (which is code for "jerkweeds," as history teaches), and we watch as they lift weights and do karate. Ray says he doesn't know what's keeping them together. And really, no woman can hear that enough. Anyway, whatever it is, it's "stronger than what's tearing [them] apart." Which is, it seems, their intense dislike of each other. But we'll get there.