Episode Report Card Miss Alli: A | 543 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Peru-ff beyond a reasonable doubt
By Miss Alli | Season 7 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2005.02.29
Debbie and Bianca and Patrick and Susan are pulling up to the pit stop. Rob and Amber are pulling up. Who will be first? Who? Who? Well, Phil is waiting for someone, and running to the pit stop, it's...it's...Debbie and Bianca. Oh, ew. And you know what's worse? They win fucking $20,000! Twenty! Thousand! Dollars! That sound you hear is every team that ever worked its ass off to come in first and got jack, grinding its teeth and sending nasty letters to production. Seriously, that is over the top. Ridiculous. Not necessary. They squeal. Boooo!
Susan and Patrick, you're team number two. Susan snorfles that she thought they were first. Oh, quiet. ["Again: it's the first leg. Shut up, Susan." -- Sars]
Welcome, Rob and Amber, you are team number three. Phil congratulates them on moving up from the back of the pack, and indeed, they look satisfied. Interestingly, despite losing their lead solely based on luck, they manage not to complain about not being first.
Brian and Greg, you are team number four. "Yeah, buddy!" Lynn and Alex, you are team number five.
Uchenna and Joyce are chatting with Ray and Deana about being out ahead of the last three teams. Speaking of whom, those last three teams -- Chuck and Ryan, Megan and Heidi, Ron and Kelly -- all get on the same truck. And they know that in all likelihood, it's going to be one of them finishing last. Ray and Deana and Uchenna and Joyce agree to work together at the marketplace, which they do. They find the clue box in a short time, but Ray and Deana don't go to a lot of trouble to find their "partners," so they take off without finding Uchenna and Joyce. When the latter realize that they've been ditched, they are not extremely happy, but fortunately, finding the clue doesn't take them very long. So they head out in eighth place.
Much to my amusement, and really for no reason, Ryan and Chuck are singing "She'll Be Comin' Round The Mountain" in the delivery truck. Hick singing is the sort of thing that doesn't mean anything, and yet should happen in every episode, because it makes the world a better place. And then the trailing teams are all at the market, all looking for the clue. Ryan and Chuck find it first, but all three teams are basically bunched up as they leave the market, with Ryan and Chuck holding a slight lead.
Meredith and Gretchen, you are team number six. Right in the middle of the pack. Feels good. Ray and Deana, you are team number seven. "That's good enough," she chuckles. "No, it's not," he says, in a way that does not bode well for the season at all. "First leg we made a lot of mistakes," he says tightly. Argh. Early hate is growing.