|
8-22 2006.05.21 |
Forever CANCELLED! Stick a fork in it. It's done. |
| 2-10 Recap |
Heartbreak City
Heartbreak City - Ah, welcome to the great big eugenics experiment that is Aaron Spelling television programming. Only the white, straight and toothsome need apply. |
2000.01.20 2000.01.20 |
Owen |
|
| 2-9 Recap |
Ms. Hellfire
Ms. Hellfire - Prue whines that she needs "another me" because she doesn’t even have time "to have fun anymore." I hear ya, sister. |
2000.01.13 2000.01.13 |
Owen |
|
| 2-8 Recap |
P3 H2O
P3 H2O - Wow! Those Halliwells! They put the "We Can" back in Wiccan! They surely do! |
1999.12.09 1999.12.09 |
Owen |
|
| 2-7 Recap |
They're Everywhere
They're Everywhere - This week our hopes that Dan and Jack turn out to be warlocks or rather, Man Witches (tm bluegirl) are dashed, the running time is padded by characters saying things twice saying things twice, and Piper starts to do Owen’s recapping for him. |
1999.11.18 1999.11.18 |
Owen |
|
| 2-6 Recap |
That Old Black Magic
That Old Black Magic - Freud's eternal rest was disturbed once again this week, as the Halliwell girls are commissioned to teach a teenage boy how to use his -- ahem -- wand. And it's up to us to decide which is lamer -- the blatant Blair Witch Project parody/rip-off or the Dan-Piper-Leo love triangle. |
1999.11.11 1999.11.11 |
Owen |
|
| 2-5 Recap |
She's A Man
She's A Man - Piper tells her to have sweet dreams, but not to kill anyone. Prue looks perplexed. Piper tells her not to ask. Word. |
1999.11.04 1999.11.04 |
Owen |
|
| 2-4 Recap |
The Devil's Music
The Devil's Music - The Ps open their nightclub, where Jenny gets eaten by a demon. Woo hoo! But the Halliwells save her. Khan! Also, the band Dishwalla is relentlessly shilled for an hour. I'm not saying anything subliminal was going on, but after the episode aired I blacked out for two hours and woke up with both of their albums and the Pie Fucker soundtrack (tm Wing) in my hand. And my clothes were on backwards. Just kidding about that last part. |
1999.10.21 1999.10.21 |
Owen |
|
| 2-3 Recap |
Painted World
Painted World - This week, Prue and Piper get trapped in an oil painting, a plot I enjoyed much more when it was released in theaters as The Witches. And Phoebe casts a spell that turns her magically from moron to plain idiot (tm tigerlily). How can we tell? There's about twenty percent less blithering. |
1999.10.14 1999.10.14 |
Owen |
|
| 2-2 Recap |
Morality Bites
Morality Bites - I have to admit, grudgingly, that this was a pretty entertaining episode. The Halliwells travel ten years into the future where Phoebe’s a martyr, Piper’s a mommy, and Prue continues to be another kind of "mother." |
1999.10.07 1999.10.07 |
Owen |
|
| 2-1 Recap |
Witch Trial
Witch Trial - A demon, who looks like a mini-Tim Curry devil from the flick Legend, appears, steals the book, and disappears. Prue holds up her hand to throw attitude, but stops. Piper asks what the hell that was. Phoebe wonders where the BoS is. Prue is nonplused. Piper bitches, "So much for being demon-free." |
1999.09.30 1999.09.30 |
Owen |
|
| 1-22 Recap |
Groundhog Slay
Deja Vu All Over Again - The Ps have to relive the same day over and over until Andy dies. Well, that's what it amounts to, anyway. But it's surprisingly good, and it's got David Carradine! No, really! |
1999.05.26 2004.07.20 |
A+ |
Couch Baron |
| 1-17 Recap |
That Plot Hole Episode
That '70s Episode - And yet, despite the aforementioned plot holes and the mind-bending continuity errors and the painfully bad special effects, this is one of the best episodes they've ever produced. Why? Jennifer Rhodes and Finola Hughes bitch at each other. A lot. |
1999.04.07 2002.10.29 |
A- |
Demian |
| 1-16 Recap |
Once, Twice, Three Times A Ball-Buster
Which Prue Is It, Anyway? - Prue's got a target on her back, so she casts a Multiplicity-esque spell. Three Pipers would be merely annoying, while three Phoebes would be torture. But three Prues? Shockingly amusing. |
1999.03.03 2004.06.30 |
B+ |
Couch Baron |
| 1-15 Recap |
Get Down! Woogy Oogy Oogy!
Is There A Woogy In The House? - Yeah, that pun's bad, but it's no worse than the first ten minutes of the episode. Things pick up, though, when Phoebe turns evil, and we also get our first look at Grams. I know, I know. "Turns"? |
1999.02.24 2004.06.18 |
B+ |
Couch Baron |
| 1-12 Recap |
And On This Week's Bastardization Theater...
The Wendigo - Piper's attacked by a creature that's sort of like a werewolf. As a result, she gets hairier. Phoebe and Prue are sidetracked into thinking they're on Touched By An Angel, but recover in time to save the day. And Phoebe gets a job! Don't worry, it doesn't last. |
1999.02.03 2004.06.12 |
B- |
Couch Baron |
| 1-9 Recap |
"What's a zoo?"
The Witch Is Back - AAAAAAUUUUUUGH. A dizzy blonde with an impressive push-up bra pops into the Manor for a visit, claiming to be the Glamorous Ladies' great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother. I'd suggest she pull the other one, but she's actually telling the truth. Go figure. |
1998.12.16 2002.09.01 |
B |
Demian |
| 1-8 Recap |
Ow! Quit it. Ow! Quit it.
The Truth Is Out There, And It Hurts - The Twinkle-Toed Tinkle Of Wacky Wiccan Hijinks invades Demian's apartment to rummage through his roommate's stash of porn. No, Demian doesn't understand it, either. Just go with it. |
1998.11.25 2002.08.09 |
A- |
Demian |
| 1-7 Recap |
The Transspecies Bisexual Menace
The Fourth Sister - Phoebe gets in touch with her "alternative" side with the help of a nose-picking Goth princess, and molests a plant. It's gross, but I never did understand the appeal of that whole girl-on-girl-on-geranium thing, anyway. |
1998.11.18 2002.07.24 |
B- |
Demian |
| 1-6 Recap |
The Episode From Hell
The Wedding From Hell - Wow! Sucky! |
1998.11.11 2002.07.16 |
D- |
Demian |
| 1-5 Recap |
Stars shining bright above you
Dream Sorcerer - Night breezes seem to whisper, "I love you, but I'm going to invade your sleep, tart you up like a 1940s contract player from the RKO lot, swing you around in a ghastly approximation of a foxtrot, and then fling your screaming body from a parapet on the ninetieth floor of a Deco skyscraper." Ain't love grand? |
1998.11.04 2002.07.12 |
A |
Demian |
| 1-4 Recap |
I screw dead people.
Dead Man Dating - Piper's predilection for the dearly departed finally manifests itself when she falls for an affable murder victim who enjoys Cantonese cooking, molecular biology, French existentialists, and long walks on the beach. Elsewhere, Phoebe annoys, and Prue prepares to audition for Puppetry Of The Penis. |
1998.10.28 2002.07.07 |
B- |
Demian |
| 1-3 Recap |
Shape of...a smackdown!
Thank You For Not Morphing - Daddy Dearest Version 1.0 blows into town to "save" his "little girls" from the Power of Three. For his troubles, he gets smacked into a wall by Prue. We love her. |
1998.10.21 2002.06.28 |
B |
Demian |
| 1-2 Recap |
Piper Halliwell graduates! Piper Halliwell graduates!
I've Got You Under My Skin - Not really, but she does cross the threshold of a church without bursting into flame. Wish the same could be said for Liza's new husband. Ba-dum-bump. Lord, that joke is tired -- almost as tired as Liza! Um, anyway. Oh, yeah! Andy's naked! Naked men! It's summer! Whee! |
1998.10.14 2002.06.24 |
A- |
Demian |
| 1-1 Recap |
Something Bitchy This Way Comes
Something Wicca This Way Comes - And it's in the form of the Original Glamorous Ladies of Halliwell Manor! Join Demian as he takes a trip down mammary lane with this series-premiere episode of Charmed. Come on! It'll be fun! Guys? Seriously! Guys? Innyone? |
1998.10.07 2002.06.10 |
A- |
Demian |