|
7-13 2006.12.20 |
Union Jacked Up For the second season of Britain's Next Top Model, they actually let the girl with the British teeth win. |
| 3-8 Recap |
Along Came A Spider
The Girl Who Is Panic Stricken - The itsy, bitsy spider crawled on the model's face. Yaya was an ass with a lack of class and grace. Eva freaked out, but in the end she made it through. So say goodbye, Toccara, BBBW. |
2004.11.10 2004.11.15 |
B+ |
Potes |
| 3-7 Recap |
Don't You Mean, "The Girl Whose Thighs Were Twenty-Nine Inches Around"?
The Girl Who Forgot Her Shoes - Hey everybody, what's worse than being bulimic? That's right: being fat! |
2004.11.03 2004.11.09 |
B+ |
Potes |
| 3-6 Recap |
Smells Like Cupcakes
The Girl Who Mutilated The Precious Brownies - Oh, Kelle. You tried and tried, and still you sucked. But with every episode you became a little blacker and, perhaps not coincidentally, increasingly more lovable. It's too bad that your final moments were overshadowed by someone putting her fingers in someone else's brownies. So long, my little Snoutley Monkeykins, and good luck recovering the precious remnants of your self-esteem. |
2004.10.27 2004.11.02 |
B+ |
Potes |
| 3-5 Recap |
This Episode Was Brought To You By The Letter "F"
The Girl Who Cries When She Looks In The Mirror - We are phinally phree of phoolish Jennipher as phate's phickle phortune phinishes her phor good. |
2004.10.20 2004.10.26 |
A- |
Potes |
| 3-4 Recap |
Sherlock Homely
The Girl Who Sets A Trap - Call out the search dogs. Amanda lost her freakin' crystals. |
2004.10.13 2004.10.18 |
A |
Potes |
| 3-3 Recap |
Shut Up, Amanda
The Girl Everyone Thinks Is A Backstabber - Makeovers! Amanda gets blonde extensions, which enable her inner hag to shine through. Cassie has an eating disorder, or else she doesn't, depending on when you ask her. The girls are made to do a beauty shot sans makeup (an ironic twist for an episode practically coated in Cover Girl), which gives Janice a lot to work with. Tyra lets her biases shine through. Julie gets the axe. And just when you think you've had enough, there's Danilo. |
2004.10.06 2004.10.09 |
B+ |
Potes |
| 3-2 Recap |
If You Wanna Go On And Be Funky...
The Girl Who Is Co-Dependent - ...don't say you look like a monkey. For the love of God, don't. |
2004.09.29 2004.10.05 |
B+ |
Potes |
| 3-1 Recap |
Dancer In The Snark
The Girl With The Secret - Emotional breakthroughs, blindness, beer in the weave. The bar doesn't get any higher than this. |
2004.09.22 2004.09.27 |
A- |
Potes |
| Extra |
And, When You're Least Expecting It, Ryan Seacrest
The Runway Ahead - Yoanna becomes America's Next Top Model and goes on a press spree from third-rated CBS to not-rated On Air, cementing her as a member of the b-list and causing the label "Future Center Square" to settle over her like a fine mist of anthrax. On her first day. Good job, UPN publicity department. |
2004.05.11 2004.05.13 |
B |
Djb |
| 2-10 Recap |
Mercedes Bends
The Girl Who Is America's Next Top Model - But Mercedes also breaks. |
2004.03.23 2004.03.27 |
B+ |
Djb |
| 2-9 Recap |
A Lump In His Haute
The Girl Who Cheated - Sure, Eric seems upset at his whore girlfriend now. But he's young and gay. He'll get it over it somehow. |
2004.03.16 2004.03.18 |
A+ |
Djb |
| 2-8 Recap |
Fellini Meeny Miney Mo
The Girl With The Signature Walk - Chi sarà eliminato questa settimana? Chi più non riterrà le congratulazioni ad essere tranquillo nel funzionamento verso il modello superiore seguente dell'America diventante? Chi ama il traduttore di Alta Vista? Definitivamente Djb! |
2004.03.02 2004.03.06 |
B+ |
Djb |
| Extra |
Postage Unpaid
The Girl Who Is Afraid Of Snakes - Hey! Why did my Tyra Mail get returned? I know I've seen it already. So why am I seeing it again? WHY AM I SEEING IT AGAIN? |
2004.03.09 2004.03.11 |
B- |
Djb |
| 2-7 Recap |
Shake Ya Not-y
The Girl Who Is Dripping With Hypocrisy - Yes, it's an hour-long tutorial on Tyra's new career. But it's still pretty damn entertaining. |
2004.02.24 2004.02.26 |
B+ |
Djb |
| 2-6 Recap |
Camille-y Mouthed
The Girl Whose Lips Swelled Up - Can't act, can't sing, can't dance, can't keep that self-satisfied sneer off her face. Keep her! |
2004.02.18 2004.02.20 |
A |
Djb |
| 2-5 Recap |
Mama Said Knock You Out
The Girl Who Is A Visual Orgasm - Mama told us lots of other important things about lupus, too. |
2004.02.10 2004.02.12 |
B |
Djb |
| 2-4 Recap |
Stopping Short
The Girl Who Needs Six Months Of Modeling School - Jenascia takes a walk, but it takes her three times as long to do so as it would a real girl because -- sing it with me if you know the Randy Newman song -- she's just not tall. |
2004.02.03 2004.02.06 |
A- |
Djb |
| 2-3 Recap |
Guess Who's Coming To Dinner
The Girl Who Can Cry At The Drop Of A Hat - Mike! Mike! And...AJ! That's who! |
2004.01.27 2004.01.29 |
A- |
Djb |
| 2-2 Recap |
Trash Compactor
The Girl Who Floats Like A Butterfly And Stings Like A Bee - Breastany gets booted because she's got a rack for porn and a hairstyle for Jersey. |
2004.01.20 2004.01.22 |
A- |
Djb |
| 2-1 Recap |
Model Behavior
The Girl Who Overslept - Model behavior! Get it? Well, do ya? DO YA? |
2004.01.13 2004.01.15 |
B+ |
Djb |
| Extra |
The Elyse Interview
The Elyse Interview - Elyse, the real star of America's Next Top Model, dishes the dirt about Robin, the pagans vs. the Christians, Elimidate, and those oily Parisians. |
2003.08.13 2003.08.13 |
Gustave |
|
| 1-8 Recap |
Adrianne Wins!
The Girl Who Becomes America's Next Top Model - In other news, Adrianne wins. |
2003.07.08 2004.07.31 |
A |
Djb |
| 1-7 Recap |
Further Teachings From The Book Of Robin
The Girls Who Get Really Naked - And thus she was eliminated. And thus there was great rejoicing in the land. |
2003.07.01 2004.07.14 |
A |
Djb |
| Extra |
The Sound Of One Djb Snapping
How The Girls Got Here - Well, then, he thought...why not just set the whole season to music? |
2003.07.07 2004.07.21 |
B |
Djb |
| 1-6 Recap |
Pick Up The Francophone
The Girl Deals With A Pervert - Paris calling! |
2003.06.24 2004.07.07 |
A- |
Djb |
| 1-5 Recap |
Anorexia, Anorexia/Intimate, Obstinate/Anorexia
The Girl Everyone Thinks Is Killing Herself - Elyse is just hungry for the love of her cute but uncute boyfriend, is all. Meanwhile, Djb makes a subtle Fiddler on the Roof joke in the index-page headline and everyone's like, "Huh..." |
2003.06.17 2004.06.30 |
B+ |
Djb |
| 1-4 Recap |
It Puts The Lotion On The Basket Case
The Girl Drives Everyone Crazy - We said, it puts the lotion on the basket case! |
2003.06.10 2004.06.27 |
A |
Djb |
| 1-3 Recap |
Makeover, Makeover, Makeover: The Makeover Episode
The Girl Gets Rushed To The Emergency Room - As prom time nears at Clone High, Abe can't stop thinking about Joan, Gandhi can't find a date, and Mr. B. helps out Scudworth with a makeover because we're thinking what he's programmed to be thinking. |
2003.06.03 2004.06.23 |
A |
Djb |
| 1-2 Recap |
The Gospel According To Elyse
The Girl Is Here To Win, Not Make Friends - Prayer is bad, Wyclef is bad, J. Alexander is bad, modeling is bad, and puppies are bad. Look, Elyse, we're trying to like you. So why you gotta be hating on the puppies? |
2003.05.27 2004.06.17 |
A |
Djb |
| 1-1 Recap |
Adrianne's Season-Long Victory Lap
The Girl Wants It So Bad - We all know she wins. Oh, what's that you say? You say you didn't know? Well, welcome to knowledge. |
2003.05.20 2004.06.16 |
A |
Djb |