Episode Report Card Jessica: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Everything Put Together Falls Apart
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.19.2002
Oliver's Apartment On The Wrong Side Of The Tracks. Joey is sleeping in Oliver's bed when he lets himself quietly into the apartment. He looks down at her sleeping face and covers her gently with a blanket. The Romantic Guitar Of...Oh, Whatever sings softly in the background as Oliver smiles down at Joey, then sacks out on the floor next to the bed. Aw. He's dreamy. But I'm still bored.
Daybreak. Oliver wakes Joey and gives her a cup of coffee. Oliver is the best! Although I also prefer, as previously mentioned, a danish. Or a rasher of bacon. Anyway. Joey's remarkably smirky for first thing in the morning and jokes that she knew he'd find a way to get her into bed. Oliver chuckles and just explains the he didn't want her to miss her test. Joey dubs this "very considerate" and tells him that she knows the material of the test forward and backward. "I knew you could do it, tiger," he says, and she swoops in and kisses him, all coffee and morning breath. Joey falls back against her pillow and squeals that she likes it when he calls her tiger. After I finish dry-heaving, Oliver grins and asks Joey if she snooped around much while he was at work. After several twitchy, tongue-y smiles and much hair-flipping, Joey admits that she looked in the medicine cabinet. "We'll talk about the dandruff shampoo later," she chirps, before mentioning that she almost tripped over his ice skates. "I played hockey," Oliver says. Joey tells him that they're figure skates. "I'm gay," Oliver says. Not really. He says something about how he used to figure-skate a little and that he "possesses a certain masculine grace." Oh, holy crap. To get Joey to shut up about his figure-skating, Oliver kisses her, and they start to make out. After several minutes of tonsil hockey -- or, in this instance, I guess, it's tonsil figure-skating -- Joey pulls away and announces that she has to tell him something. She stammers that she's not the kind of girl who jumps right into bed. "Really? Because I'm the kind of guy who sleeps with a girl after only one date, like, once a week," Oliver jokes. But Joey doesn't think that casual sex is funny! She tells him that she has "a certain pattern with sex" -- in other words, that she generally waits several long, angst-filled years before she hops in the sack with anyone. Didn't she have sex with Charlie last season? There were no years of torment and anguish there. Well, other than over her horrible singing. Anyway, Oliver tells Joey that he doesn't mind taking it slow. But Joey, that shameless, shameless hussy, explains that she's really ready to break that pattern. She really wants to bone him. Or something. So Oliver kisses her and takes off his shirt, cuing a cheesy sex montage to take us into commercial.