Episode Report Card Jessica: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Everything Put Together Falls Apart
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.19.2002
Fade up on post-coital cuddling and cooing. Oliver wonders if it would be "incredibly corny" if he told Joey how beautiful she is. "Yes," both of my action figures mutter from their bored stupor on the coffee table. Joey simpers that it would be, especially since she plans never to call him again. "Can I make you French toast to say goodbye?" Oliver asks. Joey agrees, then wonders how much time she has before her exam. She figures it can't be that late -- he woke her up at, like, dawn, after all. She reaches over their heads to retrieve the alarm clock and...it's 11 AM.
Joey screams like a scalded cat and leaps out of bed, throwing her pants on and squealing that she's missing her test! Oliver jumps out of bed and throws on his own clothes as Joey yells that he shouldn't have let her fall asleep. Oliver tells her to calm down; he's going to drive her to campus. Oh, god, the horror! The drama! The angst! The zzzzzzzzzzzz.
As soon as Oliver's truck pulls up outside of Flip-Flops's class, Joey spills out and takes off running. He calls after her, but she ignores him. Oliver rolls his eyes.
Finally, Joey races into class. The TA shakes his head and hands her the exam, telling her she has half an hour to complete it. Joey sits down and looks totally horrified. I do sympathize, you know. I once slept through a French exam. It started at noon. I know. That's bad. I had no excuse, either. I just totally overslept. My TA was nice enough to let me retake the test, but it was entirely my own fault and it was simply good luck that she didn't fail me.
Oh, God. Pacey. Emma. Office party. Say goodbye to any shred of sanity I had left, because I just can't take this anymore. Bobby Briggs is there, with a woman who...no, I can't take it. I feel myself slipping into the abyss of madness the longer I think about this ridiculous plot and this horrible stockbroker storyline and Bobby Briggs and where is the wrestling cheesecake Walter Mondale milktoast hotpants? Oh, shit, that didn't make any sense at all, did it? I'm totally losing my shit over this idiotic plot. So, Emma's taken the dress that Pacey bought her and punkified it. She looks silly. "What a…fabulous dress. Love the safety puns," Bobby Briggs tells her snidely. His boobtastic date smirks. Emma explains that she "made some modifications," and infield fly rule yoga pinwheel marzipan wingnuts. Shit! I'm sorry. I think my subconscious is trying to protect my sanity by filling my brain with nonsense any time this show veers into the Mind-Numbingly Boring/Totally Ridiculous/Nobody Fucking Cares Anymore category. Anyway, Pacey drags Emma into the other room and wonders what the hell she did to the dress he just spent $300 on. It's a sad day when I don't even like Pacey anymore. She just smirks that it was worth the cash, since the "kitchen shears went through it like butttaaaah." Then she runs off to find the punchbowl. Pacey makes a put-upon face.