Episode Report Card Jessica: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Everything Put Together Falls Apart
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.19.2002
The Movie Where The Recapper Killed Herself Once And For All. Dawson and Todd go over the shot list for the next day. When they're done, Todd wonders what Dawson's plans are for the rest of the evening. Dawson whines that he has no plans because Natasha is out with Tag. "So you're…?" Todd inquires. "Sitting here, thinking of ways I could kill him?" Dawson offers. Dude, Tag doesn't think Natasha has a girlfriend. It's not his fault she's a skank. If you want to be pissed at someone, be pissed at Natasha. Todd makes a sympathetic face. "I don't even know what I'm doing. This isn't like me," Dawson says. You mean, it's uncharacteristic of you not to have a big temper tantrum and try to control Natasha's every move? That's true. Dawson whines that he didn't even confront Natasha. He just let her go out. "What the hell am I doing?" he asks. Um, not being a controlling jackhole, but instead acting like a passive-aggressive baby? I mean, Natasha is a tool, but she did invite Dawson along. He could have gone with her, or he could have told her that he overheard what she said to Tag and they need to discuss it. Instead, he kept his mouth shut. If he's unhappy with that, it's his own fault. Todd tells him that he's doing the smart thing if he wants to keep getting laid. He advises Dawson to ignore Natasha's behavior and just enjoy the rest of the time they have together. "Look, you may very well be the love of Natasha's life. But, sadly, you don't affect her next movie offer. Plain and simple," Todd tells him gently. "So I say, just forget about it. " He pats Dawson on the shoulder. "That's terrible advice," Dawson whines. "And yet good advice, if you want to keep shagging Natasha," Todd counters. Dawson admits that Natasha has some crazy power over him; he looks at her, and he forgets his own name. All he can think about is sex. Yes, Dawson, that's called lust. Todd tells Dawson that "women know this" and it's what they use to "walk all over men." Really? Shit. I could have been doing that for years, then. Note to self: Start walking all over men. "I've been trod upon, believe you me," Todd says. Oh, Todd. Please don't grow a sensitive side on me. "I have to say something," Dawson says, explaining that he's "always been honest with people." According to my Dawson-To-English dictionary, that means he's "always been a tactless jackass." Todd smirks. "Yeah, let me know how that works out for you," he says dryly. "I can't take this!" Dawson yelps. The jealousy! It is driving him mad! "Why think when we can drink?" Todd asks. "Barkeep? Two shots of whiskey! And bring Dawson here whatever he wants." That's my Todd.
Liberty Hell's Kitchen. Joey is waitressing. Guess who's there? Flip-Flops! My God, that was so unpredictable! I almost peed my pants, that was such an exciting turn of events! Anyway, he orders a cheeseburger and a Guinness. And a pickle. And some water. With ice. Hmmm, I'm hungry. "How can you sit there and order from me and pretend like nothing happened? Why are you here? Are you trying to torture me, is that it?" Joey yells at him. She is so professional. Flip-Flops explains calmly that, as far as he is concerned, not all that much really did happen, and also, he's hungry. "It has nothing to do with you," he says, as Oliver watches from behind the bar and looks all angry and protective of Joey. "No, just my paltry little life which has come crashing down all around me, thanks to you," Joey spits. "Thanks to who, now?" Flip-Flops asks. And good for him. It's certainly not his fault that she overslept. Joey stomps away, and Flip-Flops calls her back. "You know what? I changed my mind. I don't want French fries. I really feel like onion rings," he says. Joey just makes a face and runs away, letting Oliver come out from behind the bar to defend her honor or some shit. "Wait, wait. Let me guess," Flip-Flops sneers at him. "You're the knight in shining armor and I'm the evil dragon in this little play we seem to be doing." Oliver tells Flip-Flops that it was his fault -- Oliver's, not Flip-Flops's -- that Joey was late for his exam. Flip-Flops -- and the rest of the world -- shrugs that he really doesn't care. "Go get a kitten out of a tree or something," he says. You know what really frustrates me? Sometimes the dialogue on this show can be sort of snappy -- the villains, in particular, and Todd's lines -- which means that the writers can do better than the tripe we get fed from Joey and the rest of the Creekers. I have to wonder how much of the crap that's gone on this season is the fault of the writers and how much is the fault of the network, asking them to dumb down the script or make so-and-so more or less likable. It would be interesting, for me, to see the scripts as they were first written in order to compare them to what we see on the screen. Certainly, I think burnout -- from everyone, especially the actors -- is one of the reasons that this season has been so agonizingly boring. No one cares anymore, and you can tell. But I'm always interested in behind-the-scenes dirt, and I wonder sometimes what's going on over at the Dawson's Creek production offices.