Episode Report Card Jessica: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Everything Put Together Falls Apart
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.19.2002
Credits. "Are you seriously still watching this show?" the Mulder action figure asks. "I think it's making me stupider," the Scully pipes up. It's a sad day when your action figures no longer support your career. If the small plastic talking people turn against me, I know that I am truly and entirely alone.
After the credits, we cut to Liberty Hell's Kitchen, where Joey is trying to study at the bar as music blares in the background. Who studies in a bar? This is basically the question Oliver asks her when he slides up, tying on his cute little apron. She explains that the library is packed and everyone in her dorm is partying, since finals week is almost over. They were doing "a nude slippy-slide" when she left, she tells him. Oliver cocks a brow. Man, we never did the nude slippy-slide when I was in school, and I lived on the Clothing Optional floor. Also known as "the Arts floor." Also known as "gay guys, theatre majors, exhibitionists, and the English majors who love them." Ah, college. Oliver tells her she can study at his apartment, and after much head-tilting and half-smiling and joking about this being his way to get her into his bed, Joey gratefully agrees, scooping up her books and running out. She flashes him the thumbs-up before she goes, which amused me for some reason. I have to find a reason to go on somewhere, I suppose.
Over to Pacey's, where Emma is swearing in her fake accent as she cleans the toilet. Pacey slinks over in his fancy suit and his horrible Pat Riley hair and rattles off an incredibly long and boring monologue full of overly long words that basically boils down to, "Can I ask you a favor?" He needs her to be his date to the office party. He'll even buy her a pretty new dress if she agrees. And yet, she refuses. Why is Pacey even asking Emma? Ask Jen! The poor girl already feels like no one loves her. Anyway, Pacey starts begging. It's rather unattractive. Emma refuses, again, in her horribly fake accent. When I was in high school, we did a play where we had to have British accents (which is never a good idea for high school students) and Megan Gray sounds just like the ninety percent of the cast of that show: like a young American girl with a very fake, forced British accent. Pacey offers her $25 to come to the party with him. "Are you saying I'm a prostitute?" Emma yelps. It sounds more like, "Our 'oo sawing eyeeeem a prouseTIToooooote?" And her stupid accent is the last straw. I can't go on, people. Seriously, I can't take this crap anymore. I just can't. This show is so stupid, I think it's given me a wasting disease of some sort. Because I just can't stay conscious to long enough to watch the entire episode in one go. I can sort of stand it when it's first run -- I turn on the TV and watch with one eye while reading a magazine or painting my toenails or something, but to actually write the recaps? It's almost physically painful. This show is so dull. Nothing happens. Anything that does happen generally makes me hate the main characters even more. And Jen is apparently dead. Sweet Lord, please take me now! Yeah. So, while I was complaining, Pacey managed to talk Emma into being his date for the aforementioned office party by promising to do all the chores around the apartment for two months. Dude, I would marry a man who promised to clean my apartment for two months.