Episode Report Card Jessica: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Everything Put Together Falls Apart
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.19.2002
Over on the set of Whatever, Who Cares, I Want to Die, Natasha chortles that she can't believe that she's working with Tag! She just can't believe it! Whee! Dawson and his mini-toupee are less thrilled. On cue, again, approacheth Tag. He wants to run lines with Natasha. She is unable to respond to his pleasantries with anything other than a giddy "uh-huh" and a girlish twitter. So Tag swaggers into her trailer and responds to Dawson's angry nostril flares with a genial request that he hit the road. Because Tag feels "really vulnerable" when he's rehearsing. Dawson heaves and flares and stomps out. "Thanks. Dawson, right? Thanks, Dawson," Tag calls after him. Dawson makes a face like Tag just killed and ate his dog.
On the other side of town, Pacey and Emma go shopping for a dress. This scene is not at all interesting. Nor is it funny. Nor is it particularly germane to the plot in any way. And yet, here it is on my TV screen. Anyway, they're all talking about Emma's "look," or some such, and Emma has to self-righteously inform Pacey that her clothes are all held together with safety pins for one reason. And it's "called individuality." Pacey just holds a dress in his hand and stares at her. "Ever heard of it?" she asks him. Oh my God, her accent gets sillier in every scene. She's all, "It's cawled indee-vidual-tee! Evah heard o' eettt?" Honestly, I'd like to know who decided that this character had to be English, anyway. I mean, it's not like...oh, forget it. I don't care. I just remembered that I already decided I can't go on. Anyhoo, Pacey forces Emma to try a bunch of stuff on, finds himself entranced by the silhouette of her naked body backlit in the dressing room, and, when she emerges in a lovely although unremarkable black gown, stammers a bunch of nonsensical sentences in what I believe is an attempt to tell her that this party he's bringing her to is also a contest to see who in the office can date the hottest girl, but he can't get the words out in any kind of acceptable order because he's all stunned by how hot Emma looks and he insists that this is the dress and wow, I said that all in one breath. And did I just give away the Office Party Is A Contest thing? My bad. Do you really care? I didn't think so. Does anyone care if Emma lives or dies? Did anyone even watch this scene without thinking either "I'm bored," "Pacey sucks now," or "Sweet Jesus, take me home so I don't have to watch this anymore"? I figured as much. The only things that you need to take away from that scene are: a) Pacey tried to tell Emma that his office party was also a Hot Date Contest, but was distracted by her hotness and b)…shit, in my torment, I forgot b). Whatever. Let's move on. I'm holding onto my sanity by my fingernails, and spending any more time on the Emma/Pacey pairing might cause me to go careening over the edge into total lunacy. Combine that with the absurd office party/contest idiocy, and I will probably just completely lose my shit.