Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 54 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Call Me Mr. Feet
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.24.2013
Alicia: "I don't even want to get into the complicated semantics of that, which is why we're quashing the warrant."FBI: "We don't have to prove he planted a bomb, then. Just that he is scary enough to warrant this warrant."
Alicia: "What is scary about naps?"
FBI: "Was this an Ambien nap? Because we have a picture of him passing the garbage can where the bomb went off, two minutes prior."
Alicia: "Okay, that's kind of scary."
SLĂINTE
Boyle: "Please don't serve me with papers right now. I am drinking Irish beers with Irish people in this Irish bar with Irish music playing, like Irish people are always doing."
Will: "I'm not here to serve you, I'm here because I have an opening for Best Friend In The Whole World. My card, sir."
Boyle: "...What is an LG?"
Will: "Lockhart/Gardner."
Boyle: "What is a Lockhart/Gardner?"
Will: "Fuck you. I'm buying you a beer."
Boyle: "The problem is that I have friends that I ... defend, no matter what."
Will: "As long as they have money I don't care. I am a bad-ass now. You're my Lemond Bishop."
Boyle: "Hopefully I don't become your Colin Sweeney. Oh, and I don't work Sundays."
Will: "How come?"
Boyle: "Are you retarded? Look around you. Pretend we're on Family Feud and you have to come up with five things about Ireland."
Will: "Fine. Keep the Sabbath holy and you can work twice as hard the other six days."
Boyle: "Wow, you really are into me."
Will: "Uh, yeah. It's like I finally get Clarke Hayden's whole deal with Cary."
SHAHEED
Zayeed: "That's not me, I was napping. I told you, Milwaukee takes it out of you."
Robyn: "Maybe it's true, actually. I investigated deeply into the photograph in question and figured out it's a tourist photo, which led me to Reddit, which we're calling Scabbit."
Alicia: "That's the first time the fake name was actually funny enough to accept. Like instead of ChumHum we could call it Scabble. We could do a Jason Stack case about Bitscabs."
The rest of it you know: How crowdsourcing on Reddit misidentified the Boston Bombers several times, including one guy -- Sunil Tripathi -- who killed himself before they were ever found. Reddit issued an apology, and the various "news" outlets who jumped onboard did some takebacks, etc.
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