Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 54 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Call Me Mr. Feet
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.24.2013
LotionMyFeet: "Pimp Points! I got mad Pimp Points."Alicia: "Which are what, on God's green Earth."
LotionMyFeet: "Basically internet money."
Alicia: "Oh right, like Bitcrabs."
LotionMyFeet: "It's prestige, son! I have as much influence as the founders, at least in the confines of the universe I keep under this very fedora."
Will: "Sweet, so tell me more. How is a Pimp Point like Internet currency?"
LotionMyFeet: "In my imagination. You get an icon next to your name."
Will: "Oh, so like those things you use to determine how crazy a Huffington Post commenter is before you read their comments."
LotionMyFeet: "Yeah but vastly more epic."
Will: "These icons, they can be used to buy goods and services?"
Alicia: "Fine. He's not compensated, but the tracking and awarding of those Pimp Points indicates he's supervised, which makes him an employee."
Kluger: "Nice! Yeah, supervision is enough to establish employment as far as Section 230."
Will: "Okay, just a few more questions. Mr. Irvin, do you..."
LotionMyFeet: "You can call me Mr. Feet."
Will: "Not in good conscience, and not in the real world. Mr. Irvin, have you ever been in contact with any persons or supervisors, as regards your Pimp Points?"
LotionMyFeet: "No, they're based on algorithms that..."
Will: "So a computer does this for you? Supervises you in no real way?"
LotionMyFeet: "For the benefit of our CBS viewers, let's compare it to rankings in Words With Friends."
Kluger: "Oh, now see that I understand."
RACHEL KEYSER
Jackie: "You should have turned it down, bitch. Now I have to rain hellfire on you."
Rachel: "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. That minor confusion decades ago?"
Jackie: "I guess you should have slutted around with somebody else's husband, then. Somebody with a shorter memory."
Rachel: "Nice seeing you, Jackie..."
Jackie: "So how about when I tell your husband you were fucking my husband for two years after your wedding?"
Rachel: "My husband that's in the hospital with cancer?"
Jackie: "Oh, man. He will not take this well!"
Rachel, verbatim: "You are an awful woman."
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