Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 54 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Call Me Mr. Feet
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.24.2013
Cary: "That's awesome news!"Alicia: "I know, right?"
Zayeed: "I assure that it is not. Are you people crazy?"
F/A: "No, we're happy because now you have damages. The threads don't matter anymore. The moles are upon us. The bad thing we were preventing has now happened, which means more money for all of us, including you, and a chance to bag on LG hardcore."
Alicia: "And I can get my pin back, hopefully."
SCABBIT
Kluger: "Defamation, now? It's always something with you guys."
F/A: "About $8.4M, between compensatory and punitive damages."
LG: "Hilarious!"
F/A: "Our client lost his job and a lucrative book deal thanks to Scabbit's recklessness."
LG: "Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act specifically exempts hosts from being held responsible for their users. You can't sue the city for building sidewalks where protestors voice their freedom of speech..."
Alicia: "Unless the offender is an employee of the site."
Damian: "You're fishing!"
Alicia: "Would that I were. Prepare for a jerkoff, comin' in hot."
LotionMyFeet: "My name IRL is Grant Irvin but I go by LotionMyFeet, a hilarious joke."
Kluger: "Ugh. Goons. You never know what you're gonna get."
Alicia: "Mr. MyFeet, you have been on Scabbit from the beginning?"
LotionMyFeet: "Yeah! I know the CEO and everything. I'm a Ground-Floor poster. Which makes me -- within this community only -- pretty cool. Pretty quote 'gangsta.'"
Alicia: "That is so cool! A very valid use of your time. Now, two days ago you claimed Zayeed Shaheed was a terrorist trained in Pakistan and sent to America undercover?"
LotionMyFeet: "Assuredly so, fair maiden."
Alicia: "Okay and how do you know this?"
LotionMyFeet: "It's just like, my opinion, man."
Alicia: "Do you not understand that is not how opinions work?"
LotionMyFeet: "It's safe to say I'm unclear on the concept, yes."
Alicia: "Did you know he was born in Detroit?"
LotionMyFeet: "No. But I don't see the contradiction, either. You might say I'm lacking in the experience of realpolitik as it pertains to things like facts or reality."
Alicia: "Perfect, actually. You're a mod on the site, is that correct? You monitor threads, shut down abusive users. And you're rewarded for this work?"
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