Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Not-So-Secret Service
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 25 | Aired on 09.13.2006
More polygraph montage, and the questions are getting a bit more pointed. Like, "Have you ever violated Secret Service protocol in the last thirty days?" and "Are you involved in a plot to kill the President of the United States?" Everyone answers no. Boy, Pete sure works with a lot of tight-asses, doesn't he?
Overnight, Pete lies awake in his bed, his hand over his old wound. Who can sleep when he knows his alarm is going off at 4:00 AM anyway?
Then he's at his desk the next day, despite the Director's departing order. He pops a few No-Doz, and Montrose bums a couple as he walks by. They commiserate over not having slept the night before, and Montrose asks if Pete's taken his polygraph yet. Apparently he's taking the Director's instructions literally. So Pete's off to do it now.
We see Pete all wired up, answering baseline questions about his name and his 1998 divorce, truthfully as far as we know. And then the question about violating Secret Service protocol comes up, and the camera zooms in close to his face as he lies, "No." Come on, is there specific protocol on the books about having sex with the First Lady? Maybe he could claim to have been checking in there for weapons. He answers "Not that I know of" to the question about endangering the President's life in the past six months, and is told to answer yes or no. He goes with no. The scene ends without any alarm bells going off, bars dropping over the door, or current pouring into Pete's chest through the electrodes.
Later, Pete paces outside the Mayflower Hotel, tieless. I assume it's Friday at 10 AM. The bellhop tells Pete he has a phone call. The voice on the other end gives Pete directions to the nearby Las Palmas coffee shop, and he heads in that direction. He sits in the coffee shop for what looks like quite a while, until he gets tired of waiting and walks out. And he's picked up a tail, a Latino dude with long hair and a goatee. Goatee Guy exchanges confused glances with another guy as they realize Pete's shaken them. Pete watches Goatee Guy speak into a cell phone, but stays out of sight. So now the follower has become the followee. There's some cat-and-mousing in a train station, and then Pete's in a parking garage. So you know things are about to go south. A car screams toward him down the aisle, and he dashes for cover between parked cars and draws his weapon. The car stops short in front of him, as does another arriving from the other direction. And suddenly the whole ramp is swarming with FBI guys. You can tell by the windbreakers that they're all wearing with the letters "FBI" on the back, and by the fact that they're all pointing their guns at Pete. He whips out his badge and waves it around before putting his own gun down on the pavement. The FBI guy in charge examines Pete's ID and demands, "What the hell were you doing at Las Palmas?" Pete says he was "having a goddamn cup of coffee," and asks what's going on. "Is that one of your agents I'm following?" Pete asks, referring to Goatee Guy. "Sorry for the crossover," says the Fed, handing Pete his badge back. Well, I'm sure there will be no repercussions from that. Maybe Pete will be lucky and these aren't actually FBI guys, but elaborate pranksters who like to send unsuspecting blackmail victims to a coffee shop, stand them up for hours while the mark fills up on coffee, and then try to scare them into pissing themselves.
Pete's back in the White House, where he's quickly accosted by an also-tieless Agent Tom, who's wondering where the hell he's been. Pete says they're not due to leave for Camp David until the next day, but Tom says there's been a change of plans and POTUS wants to leave today. As they come around the corner, Pete nearly collides with the First Lady, who's arriving with her assistant. Through quick thinking, razor-sharp instincts, and years of experience, he manages to prevent his dick from falling into her vagina. The President, standing outside the Oval Office in a casual tan jacket and no tie, greets the arriving parties and welcomes them into the Oval Office to plan their departure.
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