Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Not-So-Secret Service
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 25 | Aired on 09.13.2006
Outside, Kiefer turns around and rushes back into the house. Pete heads out the back door and runs across the patio. Jill has a clear shot at him from yet another door, but she doesn't take it. She just yells, "Pete!" It's not enough, and Pete's away. "Where is he?" Kiefer demands from behind her.
Pete cuts through a neighbor's house as Kiefer tells his radio to cordon off the area. Oh, Kiefer, you disappoint me. Have you learned nothing about "perimeters" in all these years?
Outside, the other agents confess to Kiefer that Pete got away with a gun and a radio. Handsome Black Agent looks at Jill, and Kiefer snaps at him, "What the hell are you looking at? She's been here two days. How long have you been here?" Ouch. Except it's at least four by my count. That's long enough to at least try to shoot Pete in the leg.
Pete reaches a busy street and hails a cab. "Just get me out of here," he tells the not-at-all-suspicious driver. And with that, Pete's officially on the lam. Only took an hour to get to this point, too.
Outside Pete's house, Kiefer's giving a big speech to the assembled officers on the street. "To most of you, he's a friend. To some, a legend." But they have to catch him anyway, because according to Kiefer, he's guilty as hell. More bad news: "He is smarter and more experienced than all of you," Kiefer pep-talks, as we see Pete doing a little shopping at a corner hardware store (microcassette recorder, canned compressed air, Krazy Glue, electronic connectors. You know, the basics). Kiefer: "He knows how you think, he knows what you know, he knows how you operate, and he will use that against you." I hope Kiefer's having a good time actually giving this speech for once, instead of being the guy this speech is usually about. Kiefer adds that Pete also knows it's going to be tough for any of his colleagues to shoot him. Jill looks abashed at the demonstration she recently gave of this very concept. So Kiefer advises everyone to visualize Pete in their sights and pulling the trigger. Meanwhile, Pete pays for his stuff with cash (quite a wad he's got on him, which is lucky) as we hear Kiefer say that this is probably going to end with Pete good and shot. Is he ever in a good mood? Pete also takes a complimentary hardware store magnet, and while the cashier is on the phone, he swipes the guy's jacket as well.
It seems to fit him pretty well, as he skulks in a dark alley behind a fancy restaurant. He listens in on some chatter with his stolen Secret Service radio, thereby confirming that the First Lady is inside having dinner. Okay, I can buy that Pete knew where FLOTUS was planning to eat tonight. I can't buy that the Secret Service let her eat there anyway once Pete was accused and on the loose. But here we are. He breaks into the restaurant's back entrance, jamming that free magnet up against the top door stop to make sure he has a clear exit route when the time comes. He reaches a position in a back hallway where, if he takes another step, he'll be spotted through the doorway by a Secret Service guard who's annoying the kitchen staff with bad jokes. So Pete uses his PDA to look up and dial the number of a phone behind the agent. As the agent turns around for only a second, Pete darts past the open doorway, unseen. He makes it as far as the back hallway that leads to the restrooms and the wine cellar. It's the wine cellar where he takes refuge, unseen by another agent posted nearby. Meanwhile, in a spectacularly fortuitous bit of timing, FLOTUS is getting up to use the restroom, and Agent Tom notifies the other agent that she's on her way. The hall agent checks the ladies' and is about to check the wine cellar where Pete's hiding, but she finds the door locked. She decides it's clear anyway, which she will soon regret. When FLOTUS approaches the restroom door, Pete sticks his head out into the hallway, where FLOTUS can see him but the agent can't. FLOTUS dashes over to meet him, and all the agent sees is the ladies' room door swinging shut. I'm not sure the Secret Service was too happy with this scene, but maybe they were mollified by the argument that the only people in the world who can put one over on Secret Service agents are other Secret Service agents.
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