Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Not-So-Secret Service
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 25 | Aired on 09.13.2006
Back at Chez Charlie, Kiefer's getting his CSI on. He points out the bullet mark on the door frame, which he can tell is cedar, a soft wood that gets brittle as it ages. What it says to Kiefer is that the shooter used a silencer, which is what slowed down the bullet enough to prevent it from penetrating the wood. He doesn't think Charlie slowed down the bullet any? With, maybe, his rib cage? As for the detectives' theory that Charlie tried to shoot back, Kiefer points out that Charlie's safety is still on. Detective Young sheepishly says they assumed that Charlie didn't have time to flick it off. Kiefer passes the ball to Jill, who explains that unlike at the Police Academy, the Secret Service Academy trains agents to draw and deactivate the safety in one motion, because Secret Service agents don't draw unless they plan to shoot. Good to know. And one more reason not to stand wrong when the President is around. "Bottom line," Kiefer says, "Agent Merriweather was assassinated." Before leaving, he gets right up in the detectives' faces and growls, "If this man were one of yours, you'd have treated him with a lot more respect." Says the guy who just let a first-day rookie school a pair of homicide detectives.
At the First Lady's beach house, Pete is sweeping the upstairs, closing and locking the French balcony doors before drawing the curtains. "It always amazes me how thorough you are," FLOTUS says, entering the room. Pete says he hopes she sleeps better because of it, and she says she does. He gets the call from Agent Tom that the perimeter is clear, and that he's out of there. Which means that Pete is alone in the house with the First Lady. Which means that they're about to commence to fucking. Seriously. And clearly, this has been going on for a while between the two of them, which kind of puts the exchange at the beginning of the scene into a new light. Yes, our buddy Pete has been spending quite a bit of time in Cincinnati. I'm only sad that I'm not going to be able to use that joke again in this recap.
The sun goes down. In the beach house kitchen, the other agent has dinner with FLOTUS's assistant, and is later seen standing guard on the porch. Upstairs, Pete and FLOTUS are in a mostly re-dressed embrace when Pete's radio squawks. He quickly finishes dressing and dashes downstairs, to find the agent named Aziz. Who delivers the news the Charlie's been shot. Pete looks stricken as Aziz says the Director has put the whole Secret Service on alert. "I'm sorry," Aziz says. "I know he was your friend." The scene ends before Pete can say, "At least he didn't still owe me money."
The next day, Kiefer's investigation has moved inside Chez Charlie, where he's interviewing the dead agent's wife. He takes a while to draw out one small morsel of information, which is that Charlie heard that Pete was having an affair "with someone's wife at work. Just gossip. Probably not even true." This is clearly not news to Kiefer, who looks pained as he ends the interview. Way to play it close there, you old pro.
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