Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Not-So-Secret Service
By M. Giant | Season 5 | Episode 25 | Aired on 09.13.2006
Downstairs, a tall, bald, black agent rides the elevator to the lobby, where he runs into the arriving Pete. Pete cackles triumphantly, because apparently the guy lost a bet to him on that Washington/Philly game. As the other agent -- Charlie Merriweather, who happens to be played by the director of this film -- hands over the cash, he says he wants to talk to Pete about something after Pete's shift. Another agent named Aziz rolls up at the same time as Pete offers to talk now, but Charlie just throws a nervous glance up at the nearest security camera and puts it off for later. Hmm. I certainly hope that impending conversation will resolve things quickly.
Pete blows into the Secret Service bullpen in the bowels of the White House, bantering pleasantly with his coworkers as he heads to his cubicle. This workplace is quite a change from the last White House-set Michael Douglas movie I saw. Movie shorthand -- everybody loves Pete. Pete's partner, who I'm calling Agent Tom, even shows Pete a picture in Time magazine that includes our hero in a shot of the POTUS and FLOTUS at some event, because this movie takes place in a world where photo editors don't know how to crop pictures.
Meanwhile, the President is pedeconferencing his way through the hallways, West Wing-style. The camera stays in tight on him, until he steps through one last doorway and voila! We're in the Oval Office. The radio chatter tells us as much. Try to act impressed.
Down in the Secret Service bullpen, a supervisor-type guy named Bill Montrose (played by Martin Donovan from The Opposite of Sex) is reading out the itinerary for the day. Apparently the President is visiting a school. Uh-oh. Have the airports been alerted? In addition to the President being referred to as "Classic," we here learn that the First Lady's Secret Service code name is "Cincinnati." WKRP fan? We'll never know. We also learn that her schedule for the afternoon is "TBD." "What's B stand for?" some crusty old agent mock-asks. "Brass ones," Montrose replies, "which you don't have." Ooh, good one. I hope these guys are faster with their weapons than they are with a quip.
And then there's a whole scene that's all about all the trouble and hassle that so many people have to go through every time the President of the United States wants to leave the damn building. It's all precisely timed and choreographed movements and chatter, with a small army of suited agents -- including Pete -- hanging out by the motorcades outside. President Hammer gets into one of the cars with his National Security Advisor -- the distressingly aged Blair Brown -- and Pete and his colleagues jog to follow cars and hop in. The motorcade is off, sirens and flashers going full blast. Reason number one not to live in Washington, D.C., if not also reasons two through thirty-nine.
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