Episode Report Card Keckler: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Here Comes The Bride, Siliconed, Green, And Snide
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.06.2001
In Quantum's ready room, the Captain tells T'Pol he wants to throw a party for Vanik the Vulcan. "If he's so interested in how we do things, he might as well see for himself. Once he realizes we're not going to blow up the galaxy, maybe he'll leave us alone." T'Pol tells him she's sure Vanik will appreciate the gesture. "Dinner's a good way to break the ice [and we have episode title], I was hoping you might give Chef some menu suggestions," Quantum says, pacing the room like a caged thing. "Certainly," T'Pol says. "A little food, a little wine --" Quantum says. "Vulcans don't drink wine," T'Pol interrupts, much in the same way Bela Lugosi said it. Uh, they do. They've been brewing it since 2070. I don't know why I know that. "You know what I mean," Quantum tells her. "Just help me make him go away." If memory serves, Jolene prefers white wine, especially when she gets morning radio show phone calls from Boston and needs to be particularly insensible.
I thought I'd let you all know that Keckler beat herself senseless with a bottle of Post Road a few hours ago. I'm just her subconscious filling in.
Sick bay. Phlox scans T'Pol's head and neck and asks how long she's had her symptoms. "Two days ago," T'Pol tells him. "Hmm!" Phlox fusses. "Perhaps you slept in an awkward position." "I haven't slept," T'Pol tells him. "In two days?" Phlox says, incredulous. "Something on your mind?" T'Pol declines to answer. Phlox tells her she has a tension headache: "You know anything between us is strictly confidential. Would you like to talk about what's troubling you?" "No," T'Pol tells him flatly. Phlox says that if there is anyone on the ship she feels comfortable with, it might make her feel better. He zaps her with a hypo-spray in the neck: "This is a simple analgesic. I can give you something later to help you sleep this evening, if you like." T'Pol thanks him and leaves. I know what's causing her headache; her eyeballs are all dried out from all that Vulcan acting. I mean, that cannot be at all comfortable.
Comet Cleanser. Reed takes calculations, and we see the snowman has been altered to make it a snow Vulcan. Hee! "The ears are a nice touch," Mayweather tells him. Reed agrees. Mayweather looks around and says happily, "We should get out more often." Took the words right out of my mouth, buddy. Reed tells him not to get too comfortable, "This landscape is about to change." Reed coms Enterprise that they've set the charges, and Quantum tells him to stand by. "Inform the Vulcans we are about to make a very loud noise," Quantum says to Hoshi. Okay, do you know what the Vulcans are going to do when they read that message? After surgically patching their sides back together, they're going to say, "Great Suurak -- these humans really are idiots!" There is NO NOISE in space. Quantum signals to Reed that he can "blast away." Mayweather and Reed blast. There's a boom and lots of snow. God, we're only halfway through this dreck.