Episode Report Card Keckler: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Here Comes The Bride, Siliconed, Green, And Snide
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.06.2001
Mathra's trying to convince me that Carrot Top's a woman.
More hobbling and not quite reaching the shuttle pod. They stop again to watch the ice crack some more under their feet. Brilliant. And these are the people Starfleet trains and allows around expensive and flammable equipment? More shaking and quivering on the comet and still NO WORD from Enterprise. The cracks start to cave in and make huge holes on the comet's surface. It's like the Ice Age all over again. Good times, good times. "I hope I never see snow again," Mayflower says. Do you see the irony there? When they arrived on the planet, Mayflower was excited to see the snow and make the snow-Vulcan, and now he's traumatized by the reality of it all. Do you get it? Because I don't think you do -- I think it needs to be hammered home just ONE MORE TIME! They open the pod door, which to my surprise didn't freeze shut like the Vomit Comet's. They pile into the pod, and Mayflower starts up the thrusters. Uh, big mistake to start blasting large amounts of heat at ice that is already destabilizing, dontcha think? It's kind of a funny scene, because while we're supposed to be watching Mayflower in the foreground being all intense about starting up the pod with all the alarms going off, Reed's in the back kind of throwing himself from side to side of the pod. And then, in a "Terra Nova" déjà vu, the pod crashes through the ice, falls down, and goes boom. Again, no phone call from Enterprise as a sign that they have any friggin' clue what they're doing when they send crewmen to their deaths on a frozen comet. Once the crashing finally stops, Reed checks to make sure Mayflower's all right. "We should've never ignited those thrusters," Mayflower says ruefully. Gee, you think? Then, lo and behold, the com panel notifies them that they've got mail. Quantum finally decided to think of others besides himself and is checking in on them. The pod quakes some more. Podquake! Shut up, already, damn! Everybody jump up and down / Podquake! / In your funky town (podquake) / And the kick drum is the fault / You gotta rock this mother, say (podquake)!
Ahem, yes, well, not everyone loves Prince as much as I do, but a little outlet is always a good thing when dealing with matters such as these. Yes, so the pod is falling some more and Quantum asks them if they're okay. "More or less," Reed responds gruntingly, "how far did we fall?" Quantum tells them about eighteen meters, and they should sit tight because they'll be out in a jiffy. Reed assures him they aren't going anywhere.