Episode Report Card Keckler: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Here Comes The Bride, Siliconed, Green, And Snide
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.06.2001
Quantum arrives on the bridge, and Hoshi shows him something ominous regarding the comet and its rotation.
Bill Haley and the Comets. Mayflower and Reed do some drillin'. Quantum tells them that the comet's rotational axis shifted as a result of their "noise," which means that in two hours they will be facing the star, and the ice will destabilize. "I want you outta there before then," Quantum orders. Reed assures him, "We'll be done with time to spare, sir." "Be sure you are," Quantum says and signs off.
In her quarters, T'Pol does some deep breathing by candlelight. Trip interrupts her. "Decide to tell me what Vanik said?" he asks, twisting his hands nervously. T'Pol gestures at a pillow on the floor: "Please, sit down." Trip looks around: "I've never seen your quarters before. Cozy." He perches on the pillow. "You know you're not supposed to have an open flame on the ship," he says. T'Pol tells him she was given special permission by Quantum to light up whenever she wants. "They're for meditation," she says. Trip nods, "So…what can I do for you?" T'Pol explains that Phlox suggested she talk about her "problem" as a way of releasing tension. "You want to talk to me?" Trip asks, surprised. T'Pol does that head twitch thing that I've finally come to identify as her way of communicating "Duh!" "Well, I -- um," Trip says, obviously uncomfortable. "Not sure I'm going to be of much help, I mean, I've only been in three relationships and they all went bust." Maybe that's because you say things like "went bust." "Are you sure you wouldn't rather talk to Hoshi or Ensign Kimball? She's married," Trip says. T'Pol tells him he wasn't really top dog on her list, but he's the only one who snooped through her mail, so he's the lucky recipient of her girlish Vulcan confidences. "I'll do anything I can," Trip says. "Whatcher problem?"
"You read the letter," T'Pol states. Trip agrees. "Then you know that unless I leave Enterprise immediately, my wedding plans will be cancelled," T'Princess Bride says. Man, can you imagine throwing her a bachelorette party? Somehow I don't think she'd appreciate the novelty pasta, cakes, and water pistols. "Have you talked to --" Trip pauses. "Koss," T'Pol reminds him. "Yeah, have you talked to Koss about all this?" Trip asks. T'Pol tells him they haven't spoken in many moons. "Marriages on Vulcan are arranged during childhood. I've only met Koss four times," T'Pol explains. Um, Haven, anyone? Trip's confused: "How can you be in love with a guy you only met four times?" he asks. T'Pol tells him "it's assumed" they will grow to have an affection for one another in time. "So, his parents send you an ultimatum -- he doesn't have a say?" Trip discloses, for the benefit of those of us who didn't manage a peek at T'Pol's letter. T'Pol tells him Koss's parents arranged the marriage in the first place: "It's their decision." "Boy," Trip says, "where I come from arranged marriages went out with slavery." "Are you going to give me advice or criticize my people's tradition?" T'Pol asks. Trip says he's not quite clear on why they threatened to call it off in the first place. T'Pol explains that the wedding was supposed to take place at Vulcan Presbyterian Church next week, but when she opted to stay on Enterprise, she asked for the nuptials to be postponed. "Koss's parents were insulted that I would put off our plans to serve on a human vessel," she finishes. Trip suggests that Vanik take her back: "Why don't you go marry Koss then come back?" T'Pol tells him that it's Vulcan tradition for the couple to live together for at least the first year. "Maybe he can come to Enterprise," Trip offers. "He's an architect. It would be illogical for him for him to live aboard a starship," T'Pol says. I don't know why, but the idea of a Vulcan architect makes me giggle for some reason. It's the little things that amuse me. "This whole thing sounds illogical," Trip says, squinting and shaking her head. "Your advice, Commander," T'Pol says. Trip asks her what she wants to do. "That is irrelevant," T'Pol tells him. "No, it's not, it's very relevant. Do you want to go back and marry this guy, spend a year with him, ten years, a hundred years or do you want to stay on Enterprise?" Trip says, mentally adding "and marry me" to the end of that sentence. T'Pol tells him she has obligations. You know, bridal showers, veil shopping, massive amounts of eyebrow plucking, the works. "You got obligations to yerself," Trip tells her. "You've spent the last year around humans. One thing you should've learned is that we're free to make our own decisions. There's a lot to be said for personal choice." T'Pol tells him that if he'd spent the last year on Vulcan, he would have learned that they honor their traditions. "I respect your customs, but this marriage was arranged when you were a kid -- a lot's happened since then [yeah, like the DeCon chamber], people change." "Vulcans don't," T'Pol says. "Really?" Trip says. "My obligation is to my culture, my heritage -- it has to take precedence," T'Pol says. Trip says it sounds like her mind's already made up, and he doesn't get why she even asked him there in the first place. "It was a mistake," T'Pol grits out, "I apologize," and stands up. Trip gets up to leave and stops at the door, asking, "Did you ever think you might've postponed the wedding because subconsciously you wanted to get out of it?" "That would imply that my subconscious mind controls my decisions. It doesn't," T'Pol says. "Well, it happens to humans all the time, maybe yer pickin' up some of our bad habits," Trip says, and exits the bridal chamber. Wow, all that talking parched my throat considerably. Hello, beer!
Reed and Mayflower pack up to leave, and, as they start to climb the wall, Mayflower slips and breaks his knee. Boy. I'm surprised. I didn't see that coming. No. No. Not at all. Reed helps him to his feet and says, "Let's get you back to the pod, I'll come back for the gear if there's time." Mayflower tells him he should at least grab the core sample: "We shouldn't go back to the ship empty-handed." Reed grabs the sample just as the sun starts to rise somewhere over the comet. Can I ask a question? Why the hell isn't anyone on the ship monitoring their every move if the comet was that close to being exposed to the star? I'll tell you why -- because Captain Inferiority Complex is probably off sulking in some corner because Vanik didn't stand on his head at the idea of seeing Enterprise. The two forgotten explorers hobble slowly to the shuttle pod. "Almost there," Reed tells Mayflower, who says, "It'd be faster without the suits." "Yeah, and a lot deader!" Mathra mutters through his simla potatoes. Reed sort of echoes my thoughts by saying, "And a lot colder." Reed and Mayflower suddenly catch sight of the slippily rising star and get nervous. There's a groaning noise, which didn't come from me, I might add. "What's that?" Mayflower asks. They look down and see the ice cracking under their feet. Reminds me of a Lake Wobegon monologue. Just replace Reed and Mayflower with passed-out teenagers and the shuttle pod with a Winnebago and we'd all be far more entertained.