Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Don't Worry, The Title's Ironic
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 08.03.1997
Adebisi tries to play pinochle with Schibetta, only he calls it "Pinocchio." Schibetta: "How do you keep that hat on your head? Velcro?" Hee. Wiser Guys than you have wondered that, Schibetta. Ryan appears, and Schibetta dismisses Adebisi. Adebisi finds Wangler under the stairs. Good place for him. Adebisi grabs his drugs away from him. Aw, someone's upset that he's not at the cool kids' table any more! Adebisi says he's in the mood to kill Ryan and Schibetta. Well, that's a little extreme for the schoolyard, don't you think? Wangler's into offing Schibetta as well, and Adebisi tells him to stick around. Wangler smiles. Shut up and go back to sniffing your baby's diaper, Wangler.
Hill tells us we can get addicted to things other than drugs. Dude, you said that already. In this episode. Don't make me come over there.
Beecher and Schillinger enter their pod. Beecher sits on his bed, but Schillinger asks him for a goodnight kiss. Hee. Beecher resignedly gives him a peck that is unfortunately obscured by Schillinger's body. Schillinger: "I'm beginning to think you don't love me any more." Vern, Beecher may not, but the audience certainly does, and we know a lot better. Schillinger goes on that the romance has left their relationship, but he has a cure. He gives Beecher a tube of Dick Suck Red of his very own, and commands him to put some on. Beecher refuses, but Schillinger says he can wait for Beecher to surprise him, although not too long. Again, this is Oz -- I'd expect Beecher to have the whole Mary Kay catalogue by the time this episode is over.
Beecher does some heroin. He walks past one of the cross-dressers outside Sister Pete's office. Pete jokes with Beecher, but quickly realizes that his flame is burning just a little bit brighter than usual. She orders him to start coming to counseling sessions. Beecher: "Whatever." I've never taken heroin, but my experience with other drugs makes me think my reaction would have been much the same. On the stairs, Pete rats out Beecher to McManus, who says he'll have the hacks monitor Beecher carefully to determine the kind of company he's been keeping. Gee, Tim, you didn't think to do that after his ass got conscripted into the Neo-Nazis? Pete opines that Schillinger wouldn't be supplying Beecher with drugs, showing that she has more of a clue about the inmates in Oz than McManus and Glynn combined. McManus suggests talking to Beecher's family, and Pete says although his wife took the kids and moved away, he has relatives nearby, and that maybe they should ask one of them to come visit. Just keep them away from any members of the Brady family.