Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Don't Worry, The Title's Ironic
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 08.03.1997
Diane announces that a number of inmates are going to be transferred out of Em City immediately. The people moved are all members of Schibetta's gang. Not a big surprise, considering how Timbo took Ortolani giving him almost exactly the same speech in "The Routine." Once all his cronies are gone, Schibetta looks around warily, and a lot of inmates regard him amusedly. He looks up, and sees McManus grinning at him. Yeah, because a Sicilian don couldn't find a creative way to wipe that smirk off your face. Try to keep grinning when your small intestine is being force-fed to you, dickwad.
Schibetta walks into the kitchen and confers with Markstram in the cage. Schibetta says that Markstram has been doing a good job running the kitchen in D'Angelo's absence, and basically offers him an alliance, which Markstram accepts. Schibetta says his tits are "firm and round." Dude, I saw you strip-searched. That is a fucking lie. Schibetta: "Maybe you could suck my tits." Grossest. Mental. Image. Ever. They shake hands. Schibetta: "If you fuck me over, I'll cut this hand off." Enough with the flirting, Nino. When Schibetta's gone, Markstram tells Adebisi that they own the future. How much does five minutes of future go for these days, Paulie?
Hill tells us that "tits" is slang for drugs. Uh, yeah. He goes on about the traffic in Oz, and suddenly, apropos of nothing, we're in a flashback. A fire truck pulls out of a fire house, and after it's gone, some jerk wearing tie-dye enters and torches the place. "Prisoner Number 94P442. Ronald Pokelwaldt." Arson, 25 years, parole in 10. In the main area, Pokelwaldt, now accessor-loser-ing with a bandanna, is blathering something about tits to some random, when Adebisi and Co. arrive and start harassing him to pay his drug debt. They leave, but not without Adebisi licking him playfully. Hee. Adebisi, Wangler, and Markstram meet with Schibetta. Wangler shoots his mouth off, and Markstram tells him to take a walk. I'd like said walk to involve an open elevator shaft, but you can't have everything, I guess. Ryan watches as Schibetta says they're getting "clean" the next day, and Markstram tells Schibetta he'd like to be there when the shipment comes in. Schibetta's reluctant at first, but eventually spills that they use the post office to get the drugs inside. He also allows that they cut the drugs in Oz, but won't divulge any further information to Markstram, who's suddenly Nosy McYenta here. He and Adebisi leave. Ryan tries to talk to them, but they ignore him. I'd never do that, Ryan! As long as you don't talk about Claire, I'll listen to anything you have to say. Call me! Adebisi doesn't want to do business with a "Dago," but Markstram says they just need to learn how Schibetta's operation works, and then they can take it over. Ryan pops into Schibetta's pod to tell him that his offer of help still stands. Schibetta's all, whatever. Dude, don't make Mickey feel unloved. It can be hazardous to your health.