Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Don't Worry, The Title's Ironic
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 08.03.1997
In his pod, Said rubs his temple when one of his followers knocks, indicating a waiting Rebadow. I'd think that wouldn't do much for his head, but Said beckons for him to enter. Rebadow, informing us that he's had a jam session with the man upstairs, says he's sorry that Said's ill. Said's all, Mohammad talked to God. I knew Mohammad, Mohammad was a friend of mine, and you, sir, are no Mohammad. Well, he didn't say those words exactly, but the level of drama was equivalent. Rebadow says it's possible that he's deluded, but he can see anger in Said's soul. That's your claim to clairvoyance? Dude, Ray Charles saw anger in Said's soul. I think he even wrote a song about it. It was called, "I, A Blind Man, Saw Anger In Kareem Said's Soul." Said soapboxes that he's angry at society, but Rebadow isn't having it, and says he's angry with God. He goes on that Said saw Keane embrace death, and he's afraid because he isn't as willing to go. I'd advise you to get to higher ground, Rebadow, because the volcano known as Mt. Said is about to blow. When Rebadow's gone, Said falls to his knees in fervent prayer, probably for a hypertension medication whose only side effect is increased glowering.
A reporter on Oz TV informs us that, amid accusations of Devlin taking kickbacks, his wife has left the Governor's mansion upon learning her husband was having an affair. Oh, so he's a Pernicious Peewee Playa. I see. Said and McManus pedeconference about Said taking his medication. They then discuss the matter of the other drugs. Said: "Look at your own house." He then looks at the Richard Gere hack for good measure. Dude, Richard Gere's selling drugs? I thought he was a Buddhist! McManus seems to take the hint, what with it being wrapped in a large anvil and all.
Glynn: "That's a pretty big accusation." Glynn, you know it pains me to say this, but listen to McManus here. Soon, Glynn says he'll order an investigation, but he'll take it slow, so as not to spook the culprits, should there be any. Healy enters Oz, like, real subtle, Tom. He finds Diane in the locker room, who complains about working the graveyard shift. Uh, sweetie, you were just complaining about not being able to work doubles anymore. Plus, isn't the graveyard shift the sweet deal here? The prisoners are locked up for the duration, right? Whatever. We see Healy stick some drugs in his locker, but not before lazily dangling them in front of the camera, like, directors, I know you're entranced by the possibility of doing a little bump, but how about telling Healy to be a little more discreet?