Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Don't Worry, The Title's Ironic
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 5 | Aired on 08.03.1997
Pokelwaldt tells Glynn and McManus that he'll testify against Adebisi, Wangler, and Markstram. Glynn says they need to learn how the drugs are getting in, and Pokelwaldt says he'll find out so they can "bust Adebisi's ass." Again, I'm not seeing how this is a wise plan. Adebisi's hand has a long reach. And let's not even get started on his dick. McManus asks if Pokelwaldt's been to drug counseling. Pokelwaldt slimes that he has, but even McManus knows he's lying. He says he'll go that day, and leaves. McManus grins at Glynn all, "Oh, those wacky prisoners." Shut up, McManus's grin. I thought I told you that already. Adebisi and Wangler see Pokelwaldt leave the meeting, because talking about someone in Oz teleports them within twenty feet of you, it would seem.
Ryan and Beecher get really, really high. Pokelwaldt enters, and Ryan tells him he can't squeeze his tits any more, because he never pays. Beecher playfully squeezes Ryan's chest. Aw. Shame they don't call drugs "dick." Pokelwaldt demands to know how "Markstram and his crew" get their drugs into Oz, like, whoa, dude -- are you sure you weren't CIA on the outside? No, apparently he's looking to "fuck those niggers up," which gets Ryan relatively serious. He says he doesn't know how they're doing it, but he has a couple of ideas, and offers Pokelwaldt a hit. I don't remember what happens from here, but I'm guessing that Mickey, even in his heroin-addled state, is way too smart to team up with this two-bit loser. Meanwhile, Beecher thinks, "I'm gonna kill this guy for horning in on my Ryan time." It takes him about eight minutes to form that thought, but once he does, he's hella pissed, I can tell you.
Mail room. Schillinger loads packages onto a conveyor belt for scanning. A hack sees something suspicious, and opens a box to find a shoe with a false bottom. Cut to Schibetta getting off the phone. He summons Adebisi and Markstram into the classroom for a conference, but tells Wangler to stay outside. Schibetta thinks that one of Markstram's people is the mole, and suggests he "plug the leak" that day. Leave that to Adebisi. Speaking of which, Schibetta tells Adebisi to stay, at which Markstram looks a little worried. Hill tells us that we all have secrets. Not with Fontana writing these episodes, we don't.
Glynn and McManus enter the gym to find a large doll that resembles Markstram hanging from the ceiling, a rope around its neck. McManus offers his condolences on Glynn's "cousin" dying, but Glynn sets everyone straight by telling us that Markstram was no relation of his, but was in fact an undercover cop. Cut to McManus having a temper tantrum that makes Veruca Salt look like an amateur. Glynn says he thought the less people knew about it, the better, and I only wish he'd followed that instinct when it came time for Mobay to show up. Glynn goes on that Markstram was feeding him information, but one of his fellow narcotics officers must have blown his cover to the mob. Well, McManus, your little power play certainly slowed Schibetta down. Toad. Speaking of which, the Pernicious Peewee chooses that moment to call and demand a lockdown. McManus correctly notes that the PP is trying to make himself look good, but Glynn says it doesn't matter, as he was going to call for a lockdown anyway. Boy, Timbo, it must be depressing to realize that a sock puppet could do your job better than you, huh?