Episode Report Card Demian: F | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT And Something Bitchy This Way Goes
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.21.2005
As Raige disappears into "the guest bedroom" with the kids, Phoebe and Piper confess that they're in some deep, deep shit. The envelope contains the deeds to P3 and the Manor, powers of attorney for each of the gals, information on their various bank accounts, and "a schedule for the boys." And for the first time this evening, I actually felt a bit afraid for them all. A teeny, tiny, infinitesimal bit afraid, but a bit nonetheless. "I'm not gonna take that!" Daddy Dearest protests. "I can't explain everything now," Piper admits, "but you just need to know this is our only way out -- it's our only choice -- so please." Daddy Dearest gets all verklempt and covers his mouth with his hands while welling up a little bit at the eyes, and I now understand why they included that clip from "Hyde School Reunion" in the previouslys. You'll recall it was in that episode that he learned of Piper's untimely demise and how he ended up raising at least Big Gay Chris on his own, and from the anguished expression on James Read's face, you can tell all of that is now rushing back to Victor, along with the horrified realization that it's happening thirteen years too soon. Goddamn you, James Read! How dare you be so good at...at...at...[sniff]...what you do? Especially on this fucking show? It's not fair! "I don't understand," Victor chokes out. "Does this mean I'm never gonna see you again?" Piper remains silent, but her expression is bleak. "Never say never," Phoebe whispers, hugging him in what seems to be a valiant yet failed attempt to console him. "Not in this family." Snuffle. Also: Damn. Where the hell did all that come from? This episode's been plodding along in the most boring manner imaginable for forty frigging minutes, and a scene this emotionally resonant suddenly bursts through? God, I hate this stupid fucking show. Over and over again, they give us hints of what they're actually capable of and how good it could be, then they shit all over us with hateful crap like Pepper Anderson's entire subplot tonight. Gah.
Back in the guest bedroom -- already equipped with a playpen, incidentally -- Phoebe and Piper arrive to find Raige playing with the kids on the floor. Well, she's actually just playing with Tiny Gay Chris, because he's the social one. The dead-eyed Psycho's off to the side, staring sullenly at anything that moves. Piper kneels in front of him anyway and offers a lengthy goodbye speech that brings tears to Phoebe and Raige's eyes. The Psycho, of course, could not care less if he tried. Piper draws him into a hug until Phoebe gently reminds her that they have to get going. Piper, tearing up herself now, lets go of the Psycho and turns her attention to Tiny Gay Chris, and you all know I like to bust on the fugly little blubber wad, but I've come to believe they really lucked out when they hired this kid -- or, more probably, these kids -- because they consistently and endearingly interact with the adults in a thousand tiny ways that make them seem, oh, not psychotic. Example? Right now. Piper doesn't offer her woefully neglected younger son the same sort of lengthy and heartfelt valedictory she gave her older one, but she does gently press his head against her cheek while whispering for him to "be a good boy for Grandpa." And the little blubber wad instinctively reaches up with his pudgy little hand and wraps it around Piper's index finger and just...just clings to her like that while Holly Marie Combs gets all weepy and...and...I'm sorry. I'm getting a little emotional. I've got to take a moment.