Episode Report Card Demian: F | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT And Something Bitchy This Way Goes
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.21.2005
Nonexistent Attic. Zankou drops a potion ingredient into the copper pot, which promptly emits a rather satisfying puff of smoke in response. KHAAAAN! wonders how Zankou plans to deploy the power-stealing potion if the gals are protected over at Not!warts. "They're not going to stay hidden for long," Zankou rather confidently claims. "It's not their style." As if to confirm this, the ear-splitting racket associated with supernatural warfare arrives in the nonexistent room from the main floor below. Zankou and KHAAAAN! race for the stairs.
"What the hell?" Zankou splutters as he reaches the stairwell landing above the foyer. The camera swings to take in his point of view of the center parlor, and it's mayhem and madness in the Manor as the Stoopid Magikal Kreatures battle Zankou's posse of henchdemons. The good news? The Stoopid Magikal Kreatures are getting their asses kicked. Hard. Whee! Zankou and KHAAAAN! swing into action, conjuring Flaming Balls Of Death they hurl into various annoyances until that stupid fucking Zombie Fairy Princess dances around Zankou's head, distracting him long enough for some damn thing or another to send Zankou tripping over his own feet down the rest of the stairs. Not to worry, though. KHAAAAN! instantly dusts the gremlin responsible, and rarely have I enjoyed a series of fiery vanquishes more than the ones now taking place on the screen. Valkyries? Toast. Gnomes? Ditto. And sayonara to you as well, smelly ogre man. This fucking rules! Unfortunately, the lovely demons manage to miss both the stupid fucking Zombie Fairy Princess and the C.S.I leprechaun, who rainbows -- ugh -- over to Not!warts to shout, "Now!" The Glamorous Ladies, who'd been anticipating his arrival, quickly read a spell from the slip of paper Phoebe clutches in her hand. Unfortunately, we hear only the following:
Something wicked in our midst,
In our home where he exists:
But I think it's safe to assume they ended it with, "Bring forth an animal / Sayeth the spell," for when the shot cuts back to the Manor hall, Zankou, still on the floor after his tumble from the landing, finds himself assaulted by a sparkly spray of white mojo that transforms him into a pig. Well, a pig with Oded Fehr's head. And sow's ears. And since no one will be magically morphing this bag of shit into a silk purse anytime soon, let's head back up to the nonexistent attic with the flaring KHAAAAN!, who, at his boss's orders, has arrived to prevent the Glamorous Ladies from absconding with the Book of Shadows. He's a bit too late, though, for Raige has already orbed her little group over from [Not!warts], and Piper hesitates not an instant before unleashing her mighty Hands of Discontent at KHAAAAN!'s chest. The force of the resulting explosion, however, simply hurtles the henchdemon backwards onto the upper landing, where he crashes heavily to the floor, momentarily stunned.