Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Crossroads
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.13.1998
Then we're outside Grams', as she opens the curtains in Jen's room wearing an orange blouse and orange plaid skirt and announces, "And God said, 'Let there be light!'" and then she turns and we're inside Jen's room with its pink curtains and bedding and its mostly-pink flowered wallpaper and its not-at-all incongruous Filter poster on the wall, like, GAK, and Herself is lying in bed clutching a pillow in an attempt to block out the light, and while I can't say I particularly blame her, it doesn't make me like her any more to hear her say, "Go...to hell" to her grandmother and meal ticket while rolling over in her improbable silky blue spaghetti-strapped nightie, but Grams' only response is, "Oh, don't swear, dear, God is listening!" but without any particular animation, and Jen impertinently replies, "yeah, well, if he were, he would know that 'hell' isn't considered a swear word anymore; you can say it on network TV" and I would just add that while it isn't a word I find at all objectionable, were I Jen and enjoying the largesse of a person who was a quite devout Christian, I would at least attempt to defer to that host's standards rather than those of 'network TV' and yes, I realize that appealing to the standards of network TV on network TV is all very meta and yes, I get it, and no, that doesn't alter my opinion that Jen's little argument is crap, and Jen goes on to say that, "and besides, I'm not going to school today," and Grams says, "I'm worried about you, Jennifer. You just don't seem yourself lately" and Jen protests that she's "just tired, that's all" which allows Grams to demand that she be "scrubbed, dressed, and ready for school in five minutes" and starts singing some rise and shine God-themed song while Jen burrows deeper into the covers and moans. Try to imagine how little pity I have for her right now.
Then we're at Capeside High School to which Pacey has ridden his bike only to throw it rather petulantly into a rack full of other people's bikes (without locking it, and even on Cape Cod, where I'm sure the rate of bike theft is not especially high -- in this day and age, who doesn't lock his or her bike?) and Dawson, who has materialized, protests that "you're going to kill it" and Pacey continues to beetle his brow and announces that he "failed" and Dawson asks if he means "midterms?" which once again suggests, as Sars pointed out last week, it's got to be late October or early November so why are these people still going around in height-of-summer-wear? Anyway, to Dawson's query about midterms, Pacey spits, "Midterms. Like I care, Dawson. I failed my driver's test," and makes some other inarticulate noises of bitterness, to which Dawson rightly replies, "You'd better take better care of that bike, then" and Pacey sarcastically answers, "Very funny!" and then Dawson blows Pacey off and says, "You're not going to believe it; Mitch and Gale have gone completely off the deep end. You should have heard them this morning, lecturing Joey and me on the finer points of adolescent sexuality" like 'Mitch and Gale?' Exsqueeze me? Brandon Walsh much? Quit trying to impress Pacey by calling your parents by their first names, but there's more, as Dawson concludes that "it was momentously awkward" and Pacey interrupts his monologue by asking, "Okay. Did you hear nothing I just said? I failed my driver's license test! Today! Of all days, today." And Dawson blankly offers, "So, you'll take it again." So Pacey attempts to lead the witness by saying, "Yeah, but Dawson, I really would have liked to have gotten it today" and Dawson blows him off by answering, "Today, two weeks from now, what's the big deal? Anyway, it was weird, because it figures, Joey and I have been together for a week and my parents are already shoving condoms in my pocket" and Pacey gives him one last shot with, "You don't have anything to say to me. Nothing at all you want to say today," and Dawson continues not to get it and asks, "What's up with you?" and Pacey finally twigs that Dawson is not just being coy and stammers something to the effect of, "enjoy your colony" but somehow I don't think that was the line, though it could be.