Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Crossroads
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.13.1998
Then we're at Casa Leery where the Flash is reading in his Troy McClure glasses as Bride of Flash approaches in her robe and starts asking contrived questions like "good book?" and that she's thinking of re-decorating and what does the Flash think? and then she does that obnoxious thing where she uses her fingers to 'walk' along the back of the Flash's neck, which she then kisses, completely ignoring his uninterested body language, forcing him to get up, whip off his glasses, and tell her that although he doesn't want a divorce, they will have to make some changes, since living the status quo is killing them, and Bride of Flash with her hair all piled up poodle-style on top of her head starts to well up but she agrees and then he starts telling her about his conversation with Cole about sex in marriage since sex is very often the downfall of a marriage and she at first thinks that he means he wants to take the sex out of the marriage but he says he doesn't and clarifies that since they've lost the honesty in their relationship they have to "open this thing up and explore some new possibilities" and I do not approve of this Tony Robbins approach to marriage, not one bit, and he says it's a paradox to try to reclaim honesty by...and she asks "by what?" and he finally asks if she wants to try having an open marriage and she gasps and wells up some more and doesn't do the Bride of Flash stomp anywhere which, though she is a Faithless Hussy, I think she would be entitled to do under the circumstances.
Then we get a shot of water as that obnoxious "Kiss the Rain" song starts, which I will forever associate with the most idyllic hours of David's and Kira's love affair on The Real World while the rest of the roommates were out snowboarding and Irene split her lip, but anyway it's raining, see, which is why the song really works, and then we get a shot of Dawson all pathetic fallacy standing in the rain and then we see Joey also standing in the rain turning around to gaze through the milling crowd at Dawson and she is not only wearing a tank top but even worse, a mostly backless halter top and I don't care what the precise timeline is -- if school is in, it's too cold at night to expose that much skin especially if it is raining. Am I wrong? Anyway, they do the music-video make-up scene for about twenty minutes and I will spare you the details as I wish I could have spared myself.
Then they're sitting by the water and Dawson tells Joey he forgot Pacey's birthday and she says nothing about it and Dawson goes on about how pissed Pacey is and how Dawson doesn't blame him, like how big of you and then Joey says, "I'm sorry, Dawson" like, he's the dick here, and Dawson says, "I pretty much suck, in all areas" (no argument here) and starts going on about how he has no talent and that probably someday there will be people lined up "from here to Hollywood" telling him how useless he is but that he never imagined she'd be one of them, like DROP IT ALREADY, my God. And Joey points out once again that he was wrong to read the journal, and tells him she isn't going to let him off the hook for it and that she doesn't owe him any explanation, but even so, she says that she has had "these feelings for you for so long" but has had to squelch them and that sometimes that frustration manifested itself in catty comments since that journal was where she went to "trash the world" and that it's "not necessarily the truth, it's just how I'm feeling on that particular day" which is pretty much how journals work, people! But anyway, she concludes that "I save the truth for you, Dawson" and that she's always believed in him and that he's extraordinary and talented and that she's his biggest fan and as I suppress my gag reflex he answers that every day she amazes him and she says "Good" and smiles with her whole mouth looking very pretty and very much like Pacey and then they kiss...
...at which point THANK GOD we cut to Jen and Abby tossing their cookies along with AMERICA at the sight of this romantic interlude between Joey and Dawson about whom Abby comments that "those two won't be the poster children for abstinence much longer" and Jen is incredulous as she looks at them and predicts that Joey will "hold out" and Dawson will get sick of it (which I guess leaves the door open for Jen, the mattress of the five boroughs if we are to believe her own hype) and Abby notes that after all those years of sleeping in the same bed together there's not much more they need to know about each other, and Jen still maintains that they're like brother and sister, to which Abby replies that "maybe they're pretending they're in Kentucky" which was a pretty funny line, but now Jen is all disturbed and tells Abby it "doesn't help" and invites her to "look at me, I'm a mess" and Abby tells Jen she has more style and sex appeal in her "little finger than that white trash loser" (indicating Joey) and I have to concur with owen's suggestion that Jen and Joey should have gotten each other's parts since Joey is obviously the one with style and finally Jen croaks, "I want him back" to which a horrified Abby answers, "God, WHY?!" along with AMERICA and Jen is all vulnerable and bosomy and smeared-mascara Courtney Love Hewitt and bites her lip and answers "Cos I love him" and Abby rolls her eyes since that's "just the booze talking" but then the scheming Abby we would like to know and love squares her shoulders and answers that "we'll get him back for you" to which Jen responds by biting and un-biting her lip for about twenty minutes and says, "Kay."