Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Crossroads
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.13.1998
And then we're inside the refrigerator at Casa Leery watching Dawson peruse its contents and trying to ignore the Flash, who is standing behind him in a baby-blue robe (no comment) saying, "...and because becoming sexually active is a very serious business, I think that it's time that you and I talked about it" and Dawson tries to dodge this on a semantic basis by answering, "Hey Dad, we were just makin' out" which I have never ever had to say to either of my parents, THANKS BE TO GOD, but anyway the Flash isn't giving up so easily and says, "Dawson, boy-girl sleepovers are no longer within appropriate boundaries and now Joey isn't a little girl anymore, as you seem to have noticed," and Dawson exclaims, "This is too [or possibly "so"] surreal, coming from you of all people," and the Flash drones on, "You know, I recently saw a report on the statistical portrait of adolescent sex and contraception" and blah blah blah until Dawson rolls his eyes and closes the fridge, at which point we cut to...
...Joey coming up the walk at Casa Leery wearing a gauze-ish white long-sleeved shirt with embroidery around the collar and jeans and as she enters the porch she glances in, does a little double-take, and then without making eye contact and trying to make a clean getaway without being impolite, says, "Hi, Mrs. Leery" for it is she, sitting out also in a robe, though hers is black with a peach-ish pattern and trim and is worn over a long peach nightgown and her hair is, of course, freakin' huge and she sips her coffee and then puts down her book while answering, "Ah, Joey! Good. Honey, I'm glad you're here," as Joey visibly steels herself for intense discomfort and tension, and Mrs. Leery goes on to say, "Um, honey, come here a sec," and beckons and pats the seat beside her, and Joey half-smiles and reluctantly approaches the proffered seat next to Bride of Flash who says, "Honey, this is a terrific book. Reproduction and Repercussion" and I agree that no one knows better the repercussions of reproduction than the woman who sired Cereal Box Head, who says, "It's all about preventing teen pregnancy?" which she says as a question, as Joey tries to mask the horrified expression on her face.
Then Mrs. Leery adds -- as if her purpose were not already embarrassingly clear, "So if there's anything that you would like to talk to me about, any sex questions about anything?" as Dawson steps out the door to catch the end of this speech, which concludes with, "you know you can come to me," and before Joey can ask the Faithless Hussy about the nuts and bolts of adultery, Dawson in his car salesman voice (tm xix) announces, "Hey! Look at the time! We're gonna be late! Let's go" and Joey shoots out of her seat after him. The Flash, still be-robed and hot on Dawson's heels, calls after them, "Remember, Dawson, no hat, no love," as Mrs. Leery and the rest of America correct him, "No, Mitch honey, that's 'no glove, no love," as she gets up and walks toward the rest of the group, and the Flash says, "Yeah, well, uh, you get the point," and Mrs. Leery calls, "Joey," and indicates the R & R book, which Joey takes, smiling resignedly and then the young'uns take off walking as fast as they can while Mrs. Leery rather unoriginally remarks that "our baby's growing up. It seems like just a blink ago he was coming home from the hospital," only she says it 'a ba-link' "and here we are a thousand years later..." and the Flash adds, "Clueless as ever" and then we get the requisite moment where they look at each other uncomfortably and don't know how to act around each other without the kids as a buffer, until the Flash goes into the house and Mrs. Leery watches as he leaves and then gazes out through the screen, presumably after Dawson and Joey, but at the same time lost in her own thoughts, and her doubts about the future of her marriage, and no doubt a host of other emotions no one particularly cares about.