Episode Report Card Chuck: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Naked and the Dead
By Chuck | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 01.05.2002
Guerra asks Morales if he's getting any visitors today -- yup, he says, his sister Annette. Loves her to death, always been there for him, but she's a bit of a headcase. It's her ass we see next, however, sashaying down the aisle of the bus, where she proceeds to sit down next to a shocked-looking Mukada. After implying that he's gay (duh), Annette asks after her brother, and says he must be bored out of his mind when Mukada reveals that he comes to Mass each Sunday. While she keeps insisting that everything she says comes out wrong, she sounds pretty lucid to me. After some more flirty chit-chat, she says she's going to see Enrique (as she calls him) because her husband messed with her and she needs a bit of help; she takes off her jacket, removes a bandage, and reveals a long, nasty gash along her forearm. Mukada gets squeamish, presumably both from the sight of blood and from the dawning realization that Annette wants her brother to do some serious retributive damage to her hubby. He asks her not to tell him any more, she says that as a priest he can't say anything to anyone, and he reminds her that the no-talky rule only applies to information delivered in a confessional, not on a bus. Annette doesn't like this nitpicking one bit -- she leaps up, calls Mukada a "self-righteous jizz-ball [I think she actually said 'cheeseball,' but 'jizz-ball' says so much more]," and says, "You don't know dick about dick. And that came out exactly the way I meant it." Excellent delivery, although I think that dick is one of the few areas where Father may be an expert.
Alvarez, breathing heavily in solitary, doodling two big eyes on the wall; he gets up, looks antsy, and spits in one of them, as the window to his cubicle swings open and the guards start extracting the solitary prisoners from their cells and escorting them back to Oz, where they proceed to make the same grunty noises about the same non-differences. Leo tells them that a ventilation problem needs a-fixin', and that the boys are headed back to Gen Pop for the duration of the repairs. Alvarez gets a punch in the tummy for violating mandated silence as Leo explains that this represents a second chance -- if they behave, they don't have to go back to solitary. Insane, annoying, dumb-as-a-post White wants to know what's up with the air ducts, and gets a club to the back for opening his maw. As the solitaires walk back into Gen Pop, White skitters around asking for McManus, and Alvarez draws a seriously ominous look from Morales; Guerra and his henchmen promptly pay Alvarez a welcome-home visit in the shower (allowing Alvarez to deliver a lovely little half-ass flash).