Episode Report Card Chuck: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Naked and the Dead
By Chuck | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 01.05.2002
McManus shows up at Said's solitary cell with a nicely folded outfit, where the latter is naked, raggedy-bearded, and doing pushups. Said stands and turns; as his muscular ass fills the right half of the screen, McManus informs him that the warden plans to charge him with attempted murder for stabbing the Aryans and asks if he'd like a public defender. Nope, says Said, all solemn and Said-like. Nor is he planning to represent himself. Mr. Angry will plead guilty.
In a staff meeting, McManus helpfully informs the rest of the gang that Said "is in a dark place." Leo wonders why he should be different than anyone else, which unfortunately encourages McManus to continue his observation that Said has been on a shame spiral ever since he killed Adebesi. Schillinger and Robson, he feels, are just more pieces of a larger puzzle. Sister Pete reminds McManus that Said was defending Beecher; McManus has no problem with the motive, but feels that the old Said would not have resorted to violence as a first choice. Dr. Nathan chimes in that she's releasing the two Aryans back to Gen Pop; Claire suggests keeping them in the infirmary longer, or perhaps drugging them. Nathan sarcastically suggests medicating all the patients (which worked so well for her last season), which Claire thinks is a swell idea, perhaps because that might make it easier for her to mount them. Leo gets all bad-ass and claims he's "not gonna take any shit from the Aryans or the Muslims." And he's going to lay down the law at a school-wide meeting in the cafeteria. 3 PM. Sharp.
While Said returns to hugs in the cafeteria, Schillinger and Robson enter to cheers; later, Robson picks up a wrapped box from the mail cart and delivers it to Said, who's surrounded by several pissed-looking Muslims. When Said opens it, he discovers a box of poop, apparently the shit that Leo said he wouldn't take. None too pleased with the gift of dung, Said flips the mail cart and jumps on one of the offending Aryans.
Beecher sits in front of a computer as Sister Pete walks into her new deluxe office. Beecher's excited about his better computer, particularly the increased RAM. Oh, ha ha. Pete relays the staff's concern about the Muslims and the Aryans, which Beecher feels is well founded, and then tells Beecher that she was thinking about him during her morning shower. Requisite kidding aside, Pete asks Beecher to broker a peace between Schillinger and Said, which sounds like a brilliantly stupid idea. Beecher seems skeptical, but after Pete tells him that it could save lives and favorably impress the parole board at his year-end hearing, he gets aroused at the thought of him, Schillinger, and Said in a three-way. Dirty, dirty, dirty.