Episode Report Card 1 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Misfortune
By Chuck | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 02.02.2002
In the visiting room, Morales greets Annette's widower with a hug, and asks how he's been holding up since her death. Husband acts all sad until Morales confides that his sister was a "cunt," which unleashes in Husband a torrent of criticism and unburdening. Apparently, Annette thought she could become a model (so she was at least seriously delusional) and went around shoving her tits in the face of anything with a dick. So, of course, Husband "cut a fucking chunk out of her arm." After providing a few more lurid details about Annette's libidinous exploits, Husband confides that he doesn't like disrespecting the dead, which is too bad, because the boy's got talent. Morales assures him that he'll never have to do that again, as he slams Husband's head repeatedly into the table, leaving a bloody spot that I'm sure will be hard to remove, before two guards get a telegram that contains a clue and pull Morales away. And now it's Morales's turn for the full frontal; with his business flapping in the breeze, he's escorted past Mukada, who's wearing a guilty, knowing look and some wicked Flock of Seagulls hair and just happens to be loitering around solitary (all those naked men, perhaps).
Then Mukada walks by the infirmary bed of Timmy Kirk, who's apparently alive and contrite. After discovering that Hoyt made a confession and a move to death row, Kirk informs Mukada that he'd also like to make a confession -- a true confession? -- and return to the Roman Catholic fold. No way, cupcake, replies Mukada, as he walks away from the incredulous little devil. Hee. Score for the Mookster. Then Hoyt sits on his death row bed, which represents his only screen time thus far this week.
Hill represents with another "fortune-telling is bunk" thought piece, this time focusing on the yore-ish practice of reading steaming entrails. I'm tired of these stupid misogynistic interludes.
And we move on to the obligatory Ryan "Leave Me Alone I'm A Family Man" O'Reily segment, as a SORT team aerobicizes into Cyril's cell to halt his zealous beating of a guard. In the infirmary, Pete jerks her arms and wonders what to do about Cyril, since they can't just keep sedating him every time he beats someone silly, which is happening quite often these days. Ryan wants him out of solitary; Gloria says she tried (since her love for Ryan clearly justifies the jettisoning of her professional ethics), but parade-rainer Leo refused. Pete reminds Ryan that Cyril killed Li Chen…self-defense…rape my ma…can't prove it…Kenmin's a chink cocksucker, and then Ryan of Selective Memory Farms pulls the long-haired stoner out of his butt, and everyone scrambles like mad to get the stoner in front of Leo to clear Cyril, conveniently forgetting that Cyril beat the crap out of a guard who we can only presume had no nefarious plans for Betty Buckley. Actually, Pete scrambles, Cyril sleeps, Ryan stares and babbles about the glass of happiness, and Gloria places her hand over Ryan's. She might as well be waving as she disappears around the bend.