Episode Report Card Gustave: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Hello, Chesty. Goodbye, Chesty.
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.12.2003
Back inside A Beautiful Loft, Lady Mac is panting on the ecru suede couch. And…yeah. Lady Mac panting after being "penetrated" by a sharp object. Draw up your own sexy metaphor. Go ahead. You know you want to. Hey, by the way? Whatever happened to Lady Mac's bodyguard? Kiefer knocked him out over an hour ago and he's nowhere to be found, unconscious or otherwise, and no one has said a damn thing about it. Kiefer enters. "Why did you leave me like this?" whines Lady Mac. "I've been stabbed!" Kiefer checks out her gash and concludes that the wound is "superficial" and the bleeding has already stopped. Lady Mac asks after Hightops, and Kiefer informs her that he's dead. "What are we going to do now?" shrieks Lady Mac. Kiefer has only one idea left. He needs Lady Mac to help him deliver EvilChrisElliott to CTU. Lady Mac warns Kiefer that EvilChrisElliott is too dangerous and too protected. "You'll never get close to him," she says. "That's right, I won't," says Kiefer. "But you will." Apparently, EvilChrisElliott still thinks Hightops is alive. If Lady Mac can make ECE think that she's got Hightops, they can use him as a bargaining chip. "There is no way I'm going to do this," barks Lady Mac. Kiefer is about to tell her that she is damn well going to do this when he clutches his chest again and falls to the ground. Lady Mac gets concerned and asks him what's up. Kiefer claims that he's fine and there's nothing to worry about. Lady Mac insists on knowing what's going on. Kiefer admits to her that his heart stopped back at Doc In The Box. Lady Mac wants Kiefer to see a doctor. Kiefer wants to get ECE first. Lady Mac refuses again. Kiefer insists that Lady Mac is going to help him, and that he'll do "whatever it takes" to make her cooperate. He tells her to call ECE and offer to trade Hightops for any incriminating evidence he has on her. "He'll want proof that I have Hightops," warns Lady Mac. "Then he'll get it," says Kiefer, playing with Hightops's computer. "Hightops is going to talk to him."
Back at EvilChrisElliott's Evil Condo, ECE is talking to Max again, and frankly, I'm really not getting into him as the Big Bad at all. He's totally wearing a faggy white v-neck sweater and lounging on a yacht. And not even in a particularly sinister way. ECE informs Max that the chip with the source recordings doesn't seem to have landed in government hands. "Has that Federal Agent been intercepted?" asks Max. "No," says ECE, surmising that something must have happened to him since he wasn't able to deliver the chip to the President. "So Hightops is the last loose end," says Max. ECE promises that Hightops will be found and eliminated. "Clean this up," warns Max, hanging up.