Episode Report Card Gustave: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Hello, Chesty. Goodbye, Chesty.
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.12.2003
Back at EvilChrisElliott's Evil Condo, EvilChrisElliott is getting acupuncture on his face from a slinky Asian chick. And we all know that the combination of Asian healing arts and sexuality is a signifier of evil. Because only someone sick enough to blow up Los Angeles just to make a profit would also be the sort of person who'd do something decadent like have acupuncture in his own home office. And I would just like to say that I don't really trust attractive acupuncturists. Acupuncturists should either be elderly Chinese men who can barely speak English or middle-aged lesbians. If she's really hot, makes house calls, and she's wearing a black slip dress, send her back. She's evil. Anyway, while the Acuprostie puts needles in his face, ECE is talking to Max on the phone. Apparently Max is even more powerful than EvilChrisElliott. Jeez, I wish the chain of command would finish with one single "big bad," already. I'm getting tired of seeing an endless chain of the man behind the man behind the curtain. Last season at this time, we'd known about Drazen for several hours. Drazen was the big bad. This is the penultimate episode, and we just found out that EvilChrisElliott has a boss. If Max has a boss, I'm going to scream. ECE assures Max that once the U.S. goes to war, his stock value will go up. Meanwhile a, um, pneumatic young lady wearing lots of Southwestern jewelry lets herself into EvilChrisElliott's office. Apparently there are all these rumors that Terrorista Mandy would be back on 24 in the final episodes. I would venture to guess that this character, who is named "Eve," is the cause of these rumors. Last season the actress who plays Eve, Nina Landey, played a character named "Amanda." Apparently "Amanda" was some girl who Foreign Accented Terror Boss and Little Terror Brother were checking out in a restaurant and noting that she looked like their dead sister. I'm thinking that someone said "the actress who played Amanda is back" and that telephone-gamed into "Mandy is back." Or who knows? Maybe Mandy is coming back and this is all unrelated.
Anyway, this girl who kind of looks like Mandy but isn't her is wearing a tank top under a jean jacket and has long straight dark hair and, as I said earlier, a really impressive pair of breasts. And it's not just me who thinks this. The forums have been calling her Chesty McTitsalot (tm Suekel). Chesty is there to report on the ransacking of Hightop's loft. She was able to collect all of the incriminating source recordings, but she couldn't find Hightops himself. "Remember," Chesty reminds EvilChrisElliott by way of an excuse, "everything including Hewitt was supposed to have been vaporized last night." Hey, that's right! So then why are the two of them still in L.A., and why the hell didn't EvilChrisElliott cancel his home acupuncture appointment? EvilChrisElliott reminds Chesty of the importance of getting rid of Hightops. "If he gets brought in and testifies, there's going to be no place for us to hide," says ECE. The acupuncture needles in his "third eye" twitch violently.