Episode Report Card Erin: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Truly, Madly, Deeply
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.15.2003
Once again, Francinator tries to move attention away from how fucking WEIRD she's being by suggesting to Will that maybe he could pick her up a little something sometime. Since Will's no longer certain just WHOM he's dating, that might be rather difficult to do. Syd pipes up that Francinator's making her look bad because she hasn't even bought her boyfriend a present yet. No, Syd. Francinator's not making you look bad because you're not buying your boyfriend presents, she's making you look bad because SHE'S SO OBVIOUSLY NOT FRANCIE THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE FIGURED IT OUT BY NOW.
Vaughn finally opens the box, and it's a tie. A TIE? Where was Francinator shopping, Men's Wearhouse? She was just out buying men's underwear or something and came across this tie? She couldn't have picked him up a cell phone carrier, or a handbook on how to date someone you work with? What is WITH her? And it's not TOO obvious that the tie probably has a transmitter in it or something, is it? God, this is stupid. Everyone's clearly uncomfortable with the situation, but both Syd and Vaughn get paged right that moment, so they fly out of there before Syd can go, "Francie? Is that you? Francie? ARE YOU A CLONE?"
Oops Center. Syd and Vaughn enter and want to know what's up. Jack shows them some footage from a security camera at the consulate in Florence. It's Auntie Em. Syd stares at the screen. That's right, Syd. Not only is Auntie Em alive, but she has all her fingers AND she wants to talk only to you about Sloane. Gee. Doesn't THAT sound familiar?
Florence. City Of Vespas, Vino, And Very Cute Boys Named Antonio. Auntie Em's sitting in some room, looking relatively tortured. Syd enters and just stands there for a second, staring at her once-dead pseudo-mother-figure. Syd's all, yeah, uh, I spoke at your funeral and I said lots of really nice things and can you possibly tell me why I seem to be plagued with mothers, both blood-related and non-blood-related, who keep dying and then SHOWING UP LATER IN MY LIFE? Em's all, yeah, Arvy told me you spoke, and no, honey, I can't answer that question for you. I'm too busy trying to figure out how my finger grew back.
Syd takes a seat, and Em blathers something about Irina being alive and how she didn't want Syd to be put through the pain of losing a mother only to have her be brought back to life. Or something. What? With who? Where? Then Em goes on to say some crap about the Alliance and how they had to believe she was dead. Syd's all, oh, great, so you knew about Uncle Arvin and the Alliance and yet you STILL stayed with him? Em's all, yeah, well, YOU try getting cancer and not clinging to your husband! Not so easy, sister!
More blah-blahing from Em about how Arvy 'fessed up to his Alliance association and then swore to her that he'd make it all right in the end and that she gave him a second chance. Syd's all, yeah, sure, he loves you. I get it. Doesn't mean he's not a psychotic PRICK. Em blabs that Arvy told her his plan, and that it involves finding out what Rambaldi was working on, and that Arvy rationalizes all the bad shit he's done in his life because he's doing it for his and Em's future, and GET ON WITH IT ALREADY. Em finally says that she'll help the CIA bring him in, but that she'll only do it if she can get a guarantee that they won't give him the death penalty when they catch him. Yeah. That'll happen.