Episode Report Card Erin: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Truly, Madly, Deeply
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.15.2003
And, boy, are they ever! Sark's just sitting in his van, waiting on Irina, and this enormous khaki TRUCK pulls up outside Brücker and parks it. Sark watches as this guy with dark glasses hops out, looks around suspiciously, and then walks off. The HELL? They couldn't procure a German phone company van? A German dry cleaning van? A German ANYTHING OTHER THAN A BIG FUCKING GREEN TRUCK WITH NO MARKINGS ON THE OUTSIDE? And they pull up OUT FRONT? Don't the Germans have PARKING GARAGES? Or did they get rid of those along with the BERLIN WALL AND BORIS BECKER?
Good holy Jesus in a jumpsuit.
Sark's internal alarm system's been triggered (hell, a blind, deaf, and MUTE'S internal alarm system would have been triggered with that hamhock of a fuckwitted CIA entry) and he makes for the building entrance, getting on his cell phone and informing the person on the other end that he's Irina's assistant and that he needs a building pass ASAP. As he enters, Syd catches him on the CCTV. Oh, for god's sake, LOOK OUT THE WINDOW! You don't need a monitor! HE'S FIVE FEET AWAY FROM YOU!
Syd gets on the horn and tells her dad that she's spotted Sark. SO HAS EVERYONE IN THE TRI-STATE AREA, SYD! He's THISCLOSE to you! Jack's all, yeah, we see him. Hold your position. Kendall whips his dick out and slams it on the desk, telling Jack, "For now. We've confirmed Derevko and Sark, that's good enough for me." Jack grabs a crane and a bulldozer and orders a ten-man team of Teamsters to help him haul his gargantuan love flute onto the desk. After the room stops quaking, Jack just looks at Kendall and goes, "Noted."
Back in Stuttgart, Irina's entering the server room with Soon To Be Dead German Guy. He blah blahs about the genome crap and suddenly, Sarkie enters, whips out his gun (hee!), shoots the surveillance camera in the corner, gets this creepy little grimace/smile on his face, and shoots the blah-blahing German in the chest. Syd tells the team back home that Sark's taken out the security camera. Kendall's all, durr, they may know we're here. No, REALLY, Ken-DULL? What was your first fucking clue? That part where your team DROVE THEIR VAN OF OBVIOUSNESS INTO THE LOBBY AND STARTED SHOUTING "WE'RE THE CIA! WE'RE THE CIA! WE'RE THE CIA!"? God. What a dumb-ass.
Sark tells Irina that they've been tracked, and declares himself clean as a whistle. Then he goes over Irina with a passive tracking device detector or something, and it starts bleeping when it gets to her cleavage. You'd bleep too if you got near Lena Olin's cleavage. Irina just goes, "Jack!" And she looks sort of pissed and bemused at the same time. Like, he duped her! Just like she duped him! Way to go, honey! I'll make a son of a bitch outta you yet!