Episode Report Card Erin: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Truly, Madly, Deeply
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.15.2003
Spanky and Alfalfa continue their cockfight at Oops Center. Kendull wants to move in with the troops now, because if they don't, they could lose everything. Jack resists, because they haven't located Sloane yet and he's their ultimate target. Whatever, boys. Just measure them and get it over with. I'm sure you'll find that Jack's is bigger, stronger, heavier, and much more talented. Moving on...
At the same time, Sark's unpacking his handy portable electro heart starter pad thingys. I don't know what they're called. I don't care. It still doesn't make any fucking sense that he's carting them around in the first place. Irina rips open her jacket and throws herself dramatically up against a wall. Sark readies the pads, but hesitates before actually shooting her full of electricity. And no, I don't think he was in awe of her boobs. (Even though I truly am and David Anders probably was thanking his lucky stars that he got this job.) I've watched it a bunch of times now, and he's looking directly at her face as if to say, "But I could hurt you!" Irina sees this hesitation and orders Sark to "Do it!" Hee. Sark slaps the pads on her chest and hits the trigger, causing Irina to buck and jerk like she's just put a wet finger in a socket.
Back at Oops Center, they realize that Irina's signal is lost. Jack was holding out the hope that, because Irina was still transmitting, it didn't matter that Sloane wasn't with them; they could track her to his location in the near future. Now, without the transmitter, they could be well and truly fucked. Jack orders Syd and her team to move in. Syd starts barking orders like a woman who hasn't spent three hours in a stylist's chair.
Irina and Sark are trying to copy something from the server. There's some blah-blahing about how it's encrypted and how it'll take five minutes to transfer. Irina orders Sark to remove all trace of evidence that they were ever on the premises. He vows to take care of it, mentions that he'll set the detonator for six minutes, then tells her that he'll meet her at the extraction point. He runs off to plant a detonator on a random pipe somewhere.
Syd's careening through the hallways with her Elektra hair flowing and her gun flailing. Seriously. She's screeching around corners with a fucking weapon in the midst of a bunch of civilians. Really. Where'd she learn to be a spy? The Falcon And The Snowman College Of Carelessness? She manages to make her way to the server room, sees the dead guy, but no sign of Spy Mommy, who finished copying the info and bolted mere seconds before Syd entered the room.
Meanwhile, in some stairway somewhere, Vaughn and Dixon are waving their guns around at nothing. Sark makes his way to the same stairway and, after Dix opens the door to the hall, Sark knocks him down. Then it's time for the Vaughn/Sark skirmish. There's lots of punching and kicking and karate chops and DAYUM, these boys are hot. The whole fight takes about three seconds and, at the end of it, Vaughn's cornered and Sark has the gun. However, instead of shooting Vaughn in the head, which, actually, Sark is close enough and good enough to do, he just shoots him in the chest. The hell? It looks like he's going to shoot him again, but Vaughn's girlfriend gets there just in time and shoots the gun out of Sark's hand from a floor above. He runs off, and Syd scrambles down to her boyfriend.