Episode Report Card Erin: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Truly, Madly, Deeply
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 18 | Aired on 03.15.2003
Later, Kendall, Jack, and Vaughn are scooting through Oops Center as Kendall basically shits all over the idea of guaranteeing Sloane a non-death sentence. He's pretty much under the impression that the wily and conniving Emily could be leading them into a trap or misdirection. Vaughn's all, no way! Syd trusts Em! I mean, less so now that she's been dead and then resurrected, but still, big trust going on there! Kendall's all, yeah, whatever, flyboy. Let's threaten her with prosecution and see how cooperative she is then!
Vaughn's all, oh my GOD! Would you give it up already! Jack's all, totally, dude! You're not even IN CHARGE HERE! Kendall's all, oh, yeah, that's right. Well, in that case, I'll be in the supply cabinet getting high on permanent marker fumes. Call me if you need me. He clomps off, and Jack turns to Vaughn and tells him to go to Florence with Dix while Jack tells Syd to make the Em deal. They go their separate ways after Jack thumps Vaughn on the shoulder. Awww. Daddy likes Syd's boyfriend! Now they can go to the prom!
Then we're hanging with the appealingly disheveled Spy Mommy as she informs Sloane via cell phone that she's meeting with some dude this afternoon who can help her decrypt the genetic database. Sloane just sits in his Silo of Satan and says nothing. Irina's all, dude? You there? Hellloooo? Sloane finally speaks up, and when he does, he tells Irina that he wants her to buy him out and that he's willing to sell her the breadth of his assets, contacts, and all the Rambaldi artifacts she could ever want. Whaddya think about them apples, eh? Irina's all, I think you're either going to set me up to be killed, or I completely underestimated your love for Emily. Sloane's all, well, let's go with the latter, okay? I'm heading back to Tuscany to meet with Emily. I'll bring the database with me and you can pick it up there. "I want out," he grimaces, and hangs up.
Back at the consulate, Syd hands Em a document that guarantees that the Justice Department won't go after Sloane with the death penalty. Em signs it. Syd's all, yeah, so, you're going to have to wear a wire, you know. But we'll make sure you don't get dead or anything. Syd starts to leave, but Em stops her. "I know I've disappointed you," she says, "that I chose to stay with Arvin, that I came here to ask you to show mercy for a man who took so much away from you..." She can't quite finish. Syd just looks kindly at her and says, "You're in an impossible situation. At your funeral, I said that I've always thought of you as my real mother. I meant it." Syd stands, and Em grabs her wrist, looking at her lovingly. Syd pauses for just a second and then just leaves Soon-To-Be-Dead Auntie Em behind.
Sloane's Sanctuary of Soon-To-Be-Dead (Again. Some More.) Wives. Em's strolling around in a beautiful green silk Chinese-styled jacket. Despite looking like she's about to vomit up her liver, she's incredibly lovely. Except for one thing. She's talking to her wire. Out loud. About NOTHING. She's all, Arvin's gonna know! Well, yeah, he is, Em. IF YOU KEEP TALKING OUT LOUD TO NOBODY. She keeps blabbing about how she feels like she's talking to no one. You ARE, Em! The hundreds of agents converging upon your villa aren't really LISTENING to you dither on about your freaky husband!