Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 54 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT You Will Like Cicero Or You Will Be Whipped
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Aired on 07.09.2013
MRA Nerd: "Argh! I still don't like women that much because I am used to having everything I want and so I hate when my toys come to life and act like people! Back to hopelessly idealizing women and then getting pissed when they don't follow my internal imaginary script, I guess. Ho hum. Just another day of white men's oppression."MONTGOMERY EXES
Byron: "I talked Mikey out of loving you, so everything is great, right?"
Ella: "This is so fucked up. Why are you guys pulling this? I got beestings!"
Byron: "Because we love you! In a way. In a way where you need to leave the country."
Ella: "Won't you get jealous of me stepping on your Worst Parenting banner?"
Byron: "We both know Aria was a mistake. Maybe this is the life you were always meant to lead."
Ella: "Not a mistake, a blessing. We agreed to call her a blessing."
Byron: "You've been offered a second chance. If I could divorce myself from myself, you know I would do it too. Just live your life, gratefully."
CICERO
Spencer: "Up your game, bitch! We gotta flash pictures of Ali at all these frat guys and act super intense and scare everybody! It is the Hastings Way."
Emily: "Okay, listen. You haven't been hearing me, so I'm going to speak slowly. I want to go to college. I think I can get into this college you keep shitting on. This is not about you or Ali right now."
Spencer: "I don't understand what you're saying at all. Is this you not helping me Spencer out? Wait, is that why you're flirting with Brendan?"
Emily: "I am not flirting with anybody. I am being awesome."
Spencer: "From the closet! Oh my God, Emily. This is so sad."
Emily: "Coming from the girl who whipped off her bra to get back on Decathlon..."
Spencer: "That was Hot Andrew! You can't hold me responsible for..."
Emily: "I am not (intentionally/consciously) leading anybody on. Just being charming."
Spencer: "Not from where I'm standing."
Emily: "Like you even know what charming looks like! You've never had to be charming! You get to act like a total snot-rag 'cause mommy and daddy have a safety net of cash to catch your fall!"
Real talk! Damn, ladies. I mean, they both have a point -- has this money stuff ever come up before? -- but now is not the time, for either agenda. Still, a very satisfying scene I think, no matter who you love the most. Emily is exasperated by having to explain what it's like to be a person in the world, and Spencer can't see past her own safety nets to understand why the priorities have shifted, and it's uniformly excellent. But it's also a relief when the sisters of GZX come out to serenade them and they have to stop acting fucking weird.