Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 54 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT You Will Like Cicero Or You Will Be Whipped
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Aired on 07.09.2013
Hanna: "Was my dream a premonition of my mother going to jail and/or getting a bad haircut?"
Spencer: "As a person who regularly has prophetic dreams, I don't believe in prophetic dreams. Your mother getting framed is classic us."
Hanna: "It's not 'getting framed' if you actually did it, though. Then it's just 'getting justiced.' And that is not how we roll in my family."
Ella: "Get the fuck out of my classroom, snoozers."
Aria: "She's been acting weird ever since I told her she is nothing to me. I wonder if this is A's doing and now it's all about me and my mom."
Hanna: "Yes, you're very special Aria."
Spencer: "I have to meet Brendan McGowan at the Brew after school, so I can't help chase your nebulous feelings about things."
Emily: "How much does a Brendan McGowan cost?"
Aria: "It's the Hastingses, so, more than you can afford. Because you are poor."
Then they just start saying words. Melissa Smash Party. The Birdnapping of Tippi. Boardshorts, the man who wears shorts. Ian. Garrett. Wilden. People. Places. Phone numbers.
Spencer: "Hey, the area code and prefix of that Tippi phone number match those on campus of one of twelve colleges on this piece of paper that Brendan McGowan gave me. I just noticed that because of how I live in an hyperadrenalized superreality."
Aria: "I guess that number goes to that campus, then. I guess we're going to Cicero College."
Ella: "And you better not act fucking weird while you're there."
(I was going to do the whole Mean Girl Sorority Bitch Letter thing the whole episode, but Joe R beat me to it while I was busy having strep. Which sucks, because I was tremendously excited to talk about that girl, because she is my hero of life. On the other hand, I get to bring out one of my favorite classics graffiti -- forebear to the internet's "stop not liking what I like" -- which let Pompeii know, "You will like Cicero, or you will be whipped.")
MONTGOMERY LADIES
Aria: "Mom, I wanted to have lunch with you but you're running away."
Ella: "I am having lunch with Zack at the Brew. It is to call off the trip."
Aria: "No! You have to go to Austria before the bees attack!"