Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 54 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT You Will Like Cicero Or You Will Be Whipped
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Aired on 07.09.2013
MARIN
Ashley: "Where are you going with your luggage in the middle of the night?"
Hanna: "Cicero. I realized you're the mom and you know better."
Ashley: "Well, I have no further questions."
Hanna: "Great. Don't get arrested while I'm gone."
Here's one: Do you have a gun in your purse? Because if so, this is the dumbest thing you've done in at least a season or two. How long do you think before Ashley remembers to check if her gun is still in the upstairs lasagna closet? How long until Hanna gets arrested on campus for waving a gun around? And will it be because of a date rape situation? It's so weird how this show ran out of places for men to be creepy -- in Rosewood PA, where everywhere is a place for men to be creepy -- and had to go on a field trip to a place where the entire point is all men being creepy. The only place Rosewoodier than Rosewood is: Any Greek Row anywhere in America.
GZX
Soror: "So anyway [sorority stuff]..."
Emily: "Cool, hey why is there a weird African mask and a huge paddle on the wall?"
Soror: "Because the Greek system is gross. But that particular one belonged to a person called Grunwald, a former House Mother, who legend tells us could predict your moves before you even made them."
Emily: "I know a bitch like that. This Grindelwald, is she still alive?"
Soror: "No, she is a ghost now."
Emily: "That is uncanny."
Spencer: "Put down your red cups and identify this murder victim! NOW!"
All the Bros: "Ugh, fuck off?"
Spencer: "Can't stop won't stop!"
Spencer glares at Emily across the room for being a human and talking to other humans, and then All That Is Brendan McGowan steps up on her, in his civvies: A pinky-red plaid with just enough blue in it to set those eyes off, and a soft cardigan that turns his good-boy side-part into instant sex with the entire 1950s. 10 out of 10 as usual, McGowan. Keep them costume changes poppin'. I am very aware of them.
Brendan: "I'm obviously in my casuals and off-duty. Can this be a date?"
Emily: "Rarely has an ethical dilemma been presented so clearly on this show."
Bro: "Yeah, I saw this girl... In my spank bank!"
Spencer: "You clearly do not understand the gravity of this situation. If only we were at one of the Ivies, where people never act shitty."