Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 54 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT You Will Like Cicero Or You Will Be Whipped
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Aired on 07.09.2013
Hanna: "Spencer, stop staring at that random old label-maker of a phone number with the area code and prefix we already know to be located here on Greek Row, and watch me flame out!"
Spencer: "Wait, what are you even doing here? As if you're going to college, come on."
Hanna: "Here is why. A gun. Congratulations, you are no longer the Crazy One."
Spencer: "Seriously though? What the fuck, Hanna?"
Hanna: "I thought, if I give it to my dad then maybe that would create more probs, because what if he got mad that she stole his gun to do crimes with, so I decided to drive here and bury it in this yard during this party. Plus, this way he still doesn't know what happened to his gun, and he won't have to lie to anybody about that."
Spencer: "Oh, you're totally just pulling a normal Hanna! I didn't get it at first but now it makes sense. You are doing what Hanna would do, keep everybody from feeling weird."
Spencer leaves her crazy ass on some ugly loveseat and runs off to find Emily, who is on a pretend date with Brendan that will probably end in murder. So now we have two problems, plus Spencer wandering around in a sorority house: Like, if you spend your whole childhood in just the EPCOT of sexual assault, someday you'll wanna visit France in real life. A natural impulse.
But since it's this show, her instincts draw her inexorably toward an abandoned room -- presumably the Grindelwald Suite -- and once she goes inside, a scary old-timey radio turns on and starts playing scary old-timey music, and the scary bare light bulb begins to swing of its own accord, and she plugs in the old-school Trimline: Instant dial tone. I know she's gonna call one of the other Liars on it to prove her point, but how great would it be if she star-69'd that shit and the person was like, "You've reached the A residence, A speaking."
...AND THEN IT DOES!
Aria: "You've reached the A residence, A speaking."
Spencer: "I'm calling you from the Grindelwald Suite."
Aria: "Is this Tippi the Bird?"
Spencer: "Ugh."
Aria: "Make it quick. We're having family fun night before we kick mom out of the family forever."
Spencer: "Turns out she was making the calls to quote some kind of panic room or bunker or something in the middle of this sorority house. There may be robotics, I don't know. The radio recognized me... that was odd. Anyway, I guess Boardshorts lived in this robot bunker. I gotta go find Hanna."