Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 54 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT You Will Like Cicero Or You Will Be Whipped
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Aired on 07.09.2013
Ella: "I talked to Mikey and he said he is about to have a total meltdown again, and your dad can't handle his emotional problems because of your Uncle Bananafish, so..."Aria: "Are we a hundred percent sure that Mike is a real person?"
Ella: "Anyway, I am a mother. I know you don't care or understand, but..."
Aria: "Look over there!"
Ella: "Nice try, Aria. Oh wait, is that a bee? [Smash Party!] Anyway, get out of my car so I can go ruin your whole plan to save my life."
Aria does, and then a million bees fill the car, and Ella -- even Ella -- is too Punk'd by this to get out of the car, so before you know it the car has be(e)come a Syfy Original Feature called Beepocalypse. Aria stares and wonders for a while why her mother is inventing a new dance in her car, until A gives up and texts her that what is obviously going on is, her mother is about to die. Of bees.
THE BREW
Emily: "But is she going to be okay?"
Aria: "Yeah, she's fine, fuck it. This is really about me. Specifically, how do I get her out of town before A unleashes the rest of her Evil Ark."
Emily: "We're doing one-liners now?"
Aria: "Yeah. A gave her 'four-wheel hive.'"
Emily: "Good one. We'll talk later. I got a bomb-ass sex WASP to trick."
Emily: "Excuse me, are you Brendan McGowan? Of the College Admissions McGowans?"
Brendan: "I don't see any other regulation hotties slurping their coffee in here, do you?"
Emily: "Can I steal you from Spencer Hastings? I need to go to college so I can keep being a lesbian."
Brendan: "We need to re-brand your brand. Less swimming, more the million other things you've got going on. Like, I know you've already figured out I don't want to know you're gay, but can we talk about how you're like every race?"
Emily: "Thanks for noticing! It's a big part of why I'm so beautiful. That, and being secretly Canadian. But can any of this help with getting into college?"
Brendan: "Hey, my gaydar's way off. Want to just completely ignore the fact that you're at work and have a seat? We can cheat on Spencer together with this binder of college secrets."
Emily: "She's great at sharing, I'm sure she won't mind."
MOMZ
Ashley: "Would you like some wine? If we drink it out of teacups it doesn't count."