Episode Report Card Erin: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Box, Part II
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.09.2002
Weasel's Office Of Scuzziness And Ineptitude. Agent Sean enters and tells Weasel that he just found out Weasel took a call from Vaughn. "Yeah, now that you mention it," says Weasel, rolling his eyes. "A call he made to me!" spits Agent Sean. Weasel's all, whatever, dude. Agent Sean's all, what'd he say, you piss-ant! Weasel's all, he ordered another pizza, dude. Who cares? Agent Sean's all, did he confirm the attack? Weasel's all, do you like my new haircut? It's sort of a useless scene, is all I'm saying. It's pretty much just in there to indicate, yet again, what a king-sized weenie The Weasel is. Agent Sean storms off.
Aaaaaand we're back with the whole fire extinguisher/bolt thing again, only now it's both Vaughn and Syd who are going to town. Up in Sloane's office, Shovelhead's spittin' mad cuz all his peoples is gone missin'. He instructs one of his remaining minions to find the problem and fix it. Quentin Tarantino is about as threatening as a gerbil on steroids. Vaughn and Syd keep going at their respective metal plates. The FLC that Shovelhead sent out comes upon the WCAC and removes her gag, asking her how many good guys there are. "One," she says. "Only one." Guess she's one of the good guys after all.
Vaughn makes it into his explosives area. There's some attempt at suspense when Vaughn tries to remove his pin, but it's short-lived, since we all know he's going to remove it just fine. Over at Syd's metal plate, her progress is interrupted when she hears something and rightly assumes it's one of the FLCs. The FLC in question has his handy heart-monitor PDA all fired up and thinks he's located the good guy in a closed locker. He takes aim and fires a shitload of bullets into it. Opening the door, he finds that it's the FLC whose ass Sydney kicked ages ago. Shovelhead, who's heard the shots, asks what in the hell is going on. The FLC reports that the guy's dead. "Well, who the hell killed him?" asks Shovelhead. "I did," says the FLC. Sydney suddenly appears and starts kicking the shit out of the current FLC. Oddly enough, Shovelhead can hear the shit getting kicked out of the current FLC via the walkie-talkie, even though, if the shit were indeed getting kicked out of him, he sure as hell wouldn't have his finger on the "send" button.
"Dear person beating up my men," says Shovelhead over the intercom, which, of course, would reach all the way down to the sub-basement level. "I assume that you're an employee here. I am now standing in Sloane's tastefully minimalistic [sic] office. And if you are not here, standing in front of me, in the next twenty seconds, I am gonna start executing your friends. Starting with the man that I assume to be your partner. Mr. Jack Bristow." Sydney looks pained. Vaughn, who has now made it to the rendezvous point, looks pained. Jack, who is sitting in the office with Shovelhead, looks like he just wants a piece of chocolate cream pie and a nice cup of coffee.