Episode Report Card Erin: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Box, Part II
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.09.2002
Mmmm…chocolate cream pie. Whoops. Excuse me one moment…
I am going to MURDER the human being who gave me this goddamn virus. Right. Anyway. Back to the recap. Vigorous Vaughn figures out how to hook up the monitors down in the room where old computers go to die. As he does so, Sydney makes her appearance in Sloane's office as Shovelhead requested. Now, here's where, if I were Shovelhead, I'd just fill Sydney full of lead and be done with it. But, as we all know, any decent Hollywood villain needs his audience, so Shovelhead leaves her be. He just can't believe that this little girl with the bee-stung lips and perky nipples is the bad-ass that's been killing all his men. Vaughn sees all this from his monitor and takes off down the hallway in order to save his would-be girlfriend. Shovelhead tells one of his remaining FLCs to tie her up good and tight. "If she moves a muscle," he instructs as he leaves, "drill her!" Ew.
Halls of Potential Government Screw-Ups. Agent Sean's picking up the mantle of Head Agent Bad-Ass and barking out orders to a couple of agents. He gets a call from Vaughn. "Talk to me," barks Agent Sean. I just love it when Agent Sean gets screen time, especially when he's all commanding like this. I'll admit it: I likes me some commanding men. Vaughn fills him in on the whole C-4 thing and how he's not sure if Sydney got the final trigger. He can't get to it because, since they split the locator map in half and went their separate ways, he has no idea where it is. He gives Agent Sean the rest of the story, including Syd's capture, and Agent Sean says he's on it and gets off the phone, ready to get down to bidness.
Unfortunately, The Weasel shows up to break his momentum. "What in the hell is going on?" whines Weasel. Agent Sean gets all up in his face. "If I find out that you screwed Vaughn," says Agent Sean, "you do understand that your ass is mine." Heh. "I'm not scared of you," says Weasel, lying through his pointy little teeth. "Yeah? Well, you should start being scared of me," says Agent Sean, leaving Weasel to stew in his own pickling brine.
Shovelhead's walking through the hallways and suddenly stops, a scummy smile appearing on his face. He returns to where Syd's tied up. He goes off on this custom-made Tarantino-penned speech about a killer's signature. Shut up, Quentin. Your name is QUENTIN. Shut up. Turns out that Shovelhead's all about champagne. He pops his cork (heh) and slugs straight from the bottle. Sydney just watches him. He offers her a sip and, when she ignores him, he pulls her head back and pours some down her throat. I'm not sure where this is going, but I'm pretty sure that it's pure Tarantino and therefore totally useless.