Episode Report Card Jessica: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Merry Mayhem
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.10.2002
Out on the porch, Joey and Oliver are indeed canoodling. He kisses her neck. Joey sighs and wonders what made him change his mind. "I missed you," Oliver says. "I missed you," he repeats. She turns and sniffs that he can go now, then. "I wouldn't want you to be at the critical juncture of Too Much, Too Soon too long." Oliver rolls his eyes and tells her to shut up. Something he and I have in common, actually. She kisses him and they're mid-spit-swap when Mr. Potter steps onto the porch and snorts loudly. They leap apart, and he chuckles. Mr. Potter sends Joey inside with some trumped-up excuse about Bessie needing her help. Joey shoots Oliver a concerned glance and wonders if he'll be okay. "As long as your father promises to go easy on me," Oliver smiles. "I'll be gentle, I promise," Mr. Potter says. I know there's a prison joke in there somewhere, if only I could find it. So Joey goes inside and Oliver attempts to make weather-related small talk. "Tell me about yourself," Mr. Potter finally asks. Oliver wonders shakily what Mr. Potter wants to know, and then almost immediately spills the beans about being an unemployed college drop-out. The convicted drug-dealer who cheated on his dying wife looks unimpressed. Oliver sputters that Joey is great. Mr. Potter agrees. The men stare out at the snow in uncomfortable silence.
Casa Leery. Dawson is putting on his shirt. I'll spare you my usual tirade about his naked body, since I'm pretty sure you all have it memorized by this point. You know, "Ack! Ew! My eyes! My eyes! Why, God? Why me, God, why?" and so forth. Dawson examines the photographs on his wall, one of Joey and two group shots of the gang in happier times. He's reminiscing (I assume) when Natasha strolls in, all ready to sex him up. She pushes him on the bed and straddles him, cooing that it turns her on to do it in his childhood bedroom. Wow. Yeah. Excuse me. I'm just going to read a book while that happens. I'm just going to slowly look away from the TV screen. No sudden movements. Natasha and Dawson start to make out. And Dawson pulls away. Oh, thank God. I didn't have it in me to recap another Topless Dawson Sex Scene. "What's wrong with you?" Natasha asks. Dawson half-assedly assures her that everything is fine, but she knows she doesn't have his full attention. Dawson finally heaves a giant sigh, thrusting his chest hair ever more offensively out of his shirt, and admits that he's thinking about Tag. Natasha takes this opportunity to makes some crack about his "orientation." Dawson doesn't find this amusing and instead solemnly snits that he knows she lied to him about Tag. "So, what's your point?" Natasha asks. Dawson snips that it bothers him, and slides off the bed. "I thought I could play the game and just keep my mouth shut, but I can't. That's not who I am," he announces dramatically. He needs to know "what [they're] doing." Natasha looks weary. "We're having fun, Dawson," she tells him, but Dawson calls that "crap." He points out that if they were just having fun, Natasha wouldn't have been so upset when he slept with Joey. "Well, I was just being dramatic," Natasha admits. Dawson can't believe this! Natasha insists that it's true! Dawson can't believe that this is just some fun little fling! "Are you on your period, Dawson?" Natasha finally asks. Dawson spits that he "gets it" now. Natasha gets some "perverse little thrill out of screwing the help!" Natasha says nothing, but gets up and starts to leave. Almost at the door, she thinks better of it and turns to tell him that he gets some perverse thrill out of showing her off! Then she tells him that, when he's old and gray, he's really going to regret not banging the hell out of her in his childhood bedroom! "But that's what you get when you think with your brain when you should be thinking with your…well, I think you know," she says, and stomps out. I don't know if Dawson does, though, because he just looks befuddled as she slams the door.