Episode Report Card Jessica: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Merry Mayhem
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.10.2002
Inside Casa Leery, Audrey raids Gale's medicine cabinet. This time, she finds some pharmaceuticals to her liking. She washes them down with a song.
Soup's on! Gale places the rolls on the table and takes a seat as everyone else finds his or her place. Jen, for once, looks great: her hair looks decent and her makeup is flattering and she just looks lovely. "So, where the hell is Jack?" Audrey slurs as she stumbles up to the table. "Are you drunk?" Jen hisses. "Yesssss," Audrey says, "but that does not explain where Jack is." Jen and Grams exchange glances as Jen explains that Jack is "in Europe" with Mr. McPhee and Andie, whom they appear to finally have remembered. I presume they're taking dinner with Brenda Walsh. It is at this point that Audrey steals Grams's chair at the head of the table right from under the old woman's ass. Which was actually a very funny piece of blocking. Grams just raises a brow and quietly takes a seat next to Jen. Gale clears her throat and asks Grams if she'd like to say grace. "I wouldn't mind leading us in prayger [sic]," Todd slurs. Dawson shakes his head violently, but Gale tells Todd to go ahead. Dawson just looks horrified.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the birth of your son," Todd begins, as The Polka Music Of Wacky Drunken Prayer Hijinks begins. "Now, I am at a disadvantage here. Many of you, I'm sure, know who I am. I am a filmmaker, celebrated on many continents," Todd continues, waving his arm dramatically. People exchange looks. Pacey pretends to pray placidly. "But I don't know any of you! Which is a travesty, because people like you, regular people, are my target audience," Todd says. "Except you, Blondie, you look very familiar to me," he tells Jen. At the other end of the table, Jen smiles and explains that he hit on her on a plane once. "Did we shag?" he asks. Grams's brows raise. "No," Jen chuckles. "Are you sure?" Todd asks. Jen assures him that she is. "Well, good, because that would be embarrassing," Todd sputters. "Where was I? Oh, yes, the birth of Christ." I'm going to start incorporating that phrase into my daily discourse. Audrey finally gives up and starts eating. "Let me start with what I am thankful for," Todd says. I think he's confused his holidays. "I am thankful for Gale, for inviting us into her lovely home. And I am grateful to her progeny, Dawson. Prodegy? Progengy?" he wonders. Jen starts to giggle. "Her progeny, Dawson," Todd finally decides, explaining that the Head has been very valuable to his production. "And I love him. I love him, very much, Dawson," Todd sniffles. Dawson just nods, looking pained. "And the funny thing, he's managed to get himself involved in a sexual relationship with a beautiful woman," Todd tells the table. Natasha smirks. Gale covers her face with her hands. It is at this point that someone should have screamed "AMEN!" and started passing the potatoes. But no. Todd continues. "Which happened to me on my first film, actually, but she was what we called 'underage,' so we don't talk about that," he says. At this point, Dawson finally asks him to wrap it up. Rather nicely, considering. "Forgive me. Forgive me, Gale," Todd says. And thus concludes Todd's prayer.