Episode Report Card Jessica: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Merry Mayhem
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.10.2002
Downstairs, Natasha is taking off; her manager got her on a flight back to Los Angeles. "Just like that?" Dawson asks. Natasha nods, and tells him not to apologize. "You were right about everything. I slept with Tag," she says. "That's fantastic," is Dawson's gobsmacked, if somewhat humorous, response. Natasha shrugs that he wanted her to be honest. "No, that's great," Dawson insists. Natasha shrugs and tells him that she's sorry; she thought they were just having fun. "I don't love you. I never did," she says, and explains that she didn't think their romance would last past the film's wrap, anyway. It was just a fling. Dawson thinks about this. "You know what? I don't love you either," he says. Natasha is all, "No shit." She tells him that they're both far too young to be serious about anyone anyway. "You know, you're going to make some girl's dream come true some day, in a big way," she tells him. " Which is why I have to stop this now, before I break your heart and turn you into a bitter cynic." Dawson cocks an enormo-brow. "Don't flatter yourself," he says. Natasha just shrugs and wishes him a Merry Christmas. And then tells him that Todd has passed out in the bathroom, and Dawson should probably make sure he's still breathing. "Thanks," Dawson says as she leaves.
Outside with Oliver and Joey. He wonders if all her Christmases are like this. She shrugs. "Usually we smoke crack and worship Satan," she tells him. Someone on the writing staff must like that turn of phrase -- last season, Pander's movie was called Smoke Crack and Worship Satan. Which I think I said was the funniest thing I'd ever seen on the show to date. It's not as funny the second time around. And then Oliver, full of the spirit of the season, revokes Joey's invitation to his house, saying that she has enough to deal with right there in Capeside. Joey wonders what the "subtext" is here. Um, he realized that you have more baggage than a bellhop? Oliver just says that her dad was a jerk, but he wasn't totally wrong. He's not very together -- Oliver isn't, not Mr. Potter. Although Mr. Potter isn't all that together, either. At any rate, Joey insists that she doesn't care. Oliver just looks at the ground and asks that he shouldn't have come. "Why?" Joey asks. "Because, it was, it was all too much, too soon," Oliver stutters. "It's too much. We need to be in the here and now." Joey, panicked by the idea of being without a boyfriend, swears that they'll do that from here on out. She promises! Oliver looks sad and tells her that it would have been just as bad if she'd come home with him. Because his family would think she's too good for him. And that she's going to break his heart. Joey yelps that she has "no intention of breaking [his] heart." Oliver smiles at her sadly. "No one ever does," he says, kisses her on the forehead, wishes her a Merry Christmas, and goes. Joey stands in the snow and listens to The Sad, Sad Guitar Of Perhaps The WB Can't Afford Oliver Hudson For Too Much Longer.