Episode Report Card Jessica: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Merry Mayhem
By Jessica | Season 6 | Episode 10 | Aired on 12.10.2002
Where was I? Ah, yes. Audrey whines that she doesn't want to intrude, but Joey explains that they're all invited to dinner at Dawson's, so it's bound to be awful anyway. Or something like that. Audrey moans that she doesn't know. She feels like the only thing she's accomplished this semester is "alienating everyone." Hmm, if we include the audience in that...well, yes. Yes, that's true. Joey listens calmly as Audrey whimpers that she's already done "the Capeside thing" and "quite frankly, it was a stultifying bore." It is at this point that I would have said a snippy "fine!" and gone back to packing, but Joey reminds Audrey that she's "preaching to the choir" about the relative boring-ness of Capeside, and insists that Audrey is coming with her. Audrey makes a face. "My father's going to be there," Joey wheedles. "Can I ask him about prison?" Audrey asks. Joey nods, smiling, and Audrey reluctantly agrees. They hug. Then Joey goes off to take a shower or something, and Audrey takes a bottle of vodka from her bag and takes a big old swig. Because, I don't know if you've heard, but she's in a horrible, self-destructive downward spiral.
Capeside Revisited. Pacey pulls up in front of Casa Witter in a brand-new BMW convertible. Doug is out on the porch waiting for him. Yay, Doug! "Pacey, is that you?" he asks, as Pacey pours himself out of the car in a leather jacket. "Merry Christmas," Pacey calls. "Yeah, right back at you," Doug says as he comes down the steps and they embrace. "What did you do to my little brother?" Doug asks, fingering Pacey's goatee and taking in his posh car and clothes. "I murdered that punk," Pacey says. Self-Loathing, your table is ready. "Good to know," Doug retorts blandly. "You look..." he trails off. "Hip, handsome and hetero?" Pacey finishes for him. "I was going to say 'slick, sleazy and smarmy,' but okay," Doug says. Pacey gives Doug's sweater -- a green concoction with embroidered snowflakes -- a gander and snarks that "[Doug's] sexuality is still as dubious as ever. It's good to see that some things never change." Right. Like how that Doug Is Gay schtick has never, ever been amusing. At least it's continuity, though, so I probably shouldn't be complaining. Doug ignores this remark and wonders what happened to Pacey's Mustang. "It made for a most excellent trade-in," Pacey coos as he opens his trunk, which is spilling over with gifts. "Give me a hand?" he asks. Doug looks at the piles of presents and wonders how Pacey can afford all of this. Pacey reminds him he "works for a living." Doug cracks that Pacey must be working...as a crack dealer. Wait. Don't the Witters know that Pacey's working as a stockbroker? I mean, isn't that something you tell your family? Why wouldn't he tell them about his new job? Why is that a secret? That makes no sense! ["Neither does the fact that he still has that job, since 1) he kind of sucks at it and 2) he tried to give his boss a beatdown, but…forget it. The Mulder action figure and I will be in the freezer." -- Sars] Pacey smarms that he wishes his job was as easy as selling crack, but that at least he gets to go home with wads of cash in his pocket. I wish Pacey were selling crack. That might get interesting.