Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Dream Is A Fitz Your Heart Makes
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 16 | Aired on 01.16.2012
MARIN, NEXT AM
Ashley: "Okay, if you were wondering whether you killed Lucas, he's now roaming the countryside calling his parents from different numbers. So that's good."
Hanna: "Can we like just not talk about Lucas for one hot second?"
Ashley: "I'm thinking it would be nice to at least chat with his parents about the fact that my daughter threw a party from which he still has not returned."
Hanna: "He has clearly recovered!"
Emily: "Let's just go to Spencer's. She'll know what to do. Or at least make up something crazy that we can focus on while we wait for Lucas to come kill you."
HASTINGS HOUSE FOR PARENTLESS LOONYBIRDS
Spencer: "Will you finally listen to this clue?"
Liars: "Fine."
Spencer: "Those dolls used to live in my attic. That means A probably spends time in my lake house, and attic. Possibly with Lucas."
Hanna: "You mean like a timeshare?"
Spencer: "No, I mean like where you fucked a werewolf on my Nana's loveseat. And P.S., I am still not done bitching about that."
Spencer produces several prepaid burner phones -- an industry which in 2012 seems to be entirely underwritten by ABC Family shows and Nancy Botwin -- along with a receipt from a place called Smitty's that is apparently found in Philadelphia but whose custom we do not yet know. She wants the girls to go back with her to the lake house to see if they can get more people murdered; everybody is in even though they all have dating problems that, only on this show, must take precedence.
SCHOOL HALLWAY, FOR E.G.
Aria: "So I'm on the phone stalking Ezra Fitz when my mom walks in, and I immediately start pretending that I'm on the phone with Holden Strauss."
Spencer: "Who?"
Aria: "You know, Holden Strauss. That guy that looks exactly like every other single guy on this entire show? Just came back from Portugal?"
Spencer: "Oh right. The guy you have all those hilarious preschool inside jokes with. But listen, why did any of this go down? Why imaginary calls with Holden? Why call Ezra from your house?"
Aria: "I just honestly lost my shit."
Spencer: "I am not an expert in that. Please elaborate by demonstrating exactly how deluded you continue to be."
Aria: "Here's what I'm thinking, is that eventually my parents will come around. Then it's just a simple matter of hounding Ezra to the ends of the earth, and then we'll get married."