Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Dream Is A Fitz Your Heart Makes
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 16 | Aired on 01.16.2012
CREEPSTER MAYA
Anonymous Caller: "Is this that sexy teen lesbian that works at the crisis center?"
Emily: "Uh, no. This is a private cell phone, freak."
Anonymous Caller: "But I have a crisis! In my pants!"
Emily: "Oh, for... This is Maya, isn't it? Fine, talk dirty to me."
Maya: "Hang on, call waiting... Okay, I have to act mysterious for a while. Forget I said that. Are we still going on a date?"
Emily: "Yes, to see a band I like. Lesbians historically are known to have great taste in music, so this should turn out well."
THE QUAD
Spencer is trying to figure out when the next train is to Philly so she can check on this mysterious Smitty's, but she can't get service. Meanwhile, Aria is getting great service while she tries to buy tickets to this Arthur Miller play so she can take Holden and go spy on Ezra, who was going to take her before fate intervened and Byron caught his case of pedo hypocrisy.
Aria: "Wait, so is what I'm doing pretty dreadful? Using the new guy in town in an elaborate ruse to continue stalking the man I claim to love and yet persistently try to ruin both personally and professionally?"
Spencer: "You are talking to the wrong girl. I think it's romantic."
Aria trades phones with Spencer and immediately the train map "downloads" to her phone -- whatever the holy hell that means -- and Spencer's like, What? and Aria's like, I'm magic, bitch. Deal with it.
CALEB FIGHT
Caleb: "It sure is weird living in Lucas's house while he's off roaming the hillside acting sketchy. Good thing his parents love me. Good thing I have this weird quality where parents let me stay in their houses no matter how much hell I pull down on their kids."
Hanna: "I really don't want to talk about Lucas. I just want to know where he is, so I can be elsewhere."
Caleb: "Lucas? My best friend? The only person we like more than each other? The guy who helped throw my birthday party? We suddenly don't care about him. Huh."
Hanna: "I just think he needs to be alone. He's got a lot of stockpiling weapons and gadgets to do before I next strand myself somewhere alone and dangerous."
Caleb: "Well, I want to go find him. I suggest the lake house where he was last seen alive."
Hanna: "Did I mention the lake water? I am not feeling it right now. He'll come home eventually. To murder me."
Caleb: "You are being a really bad friend to everybody today."
Hanna: "I HAVE 99 PROBLEMS TODAY CALEB."
Caleb: "Fine. I choose Lucas. Later."